


The Happy Prince

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Learning Disabilities, M/M, Minor Character Death, child!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-03
Updated: 2011-06-23
Packaged: 2017-10-20 16:30:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 36,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/214747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jared finds Jensen’s lost son Jensen is grateful but what will he do when his gratitude turns into something else? And how will he be able to have a relationship with someone who might always be a child?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
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](http://pics.livejournal.com/annie46/pic/0000h364/)   


**Special thanks to bt_kady for the wonderful banner!**

Jared found the little boy crouched down behind the dumpster.

He was crying and Jared recognized that he was lost; Jared had been lost a lot and now his momma had pinned his address inside of his shirt pocket so that people knew who to ring. Jared was a little angry at this; he hated being treated like a baby but it was his momma so he just went along with it.

Jared knelt down and put out his big hand to touch the little boy’s shaking shoulder. The little boy raised tear smeared eyes and stared at him with trembling lips.

“I want my daddy,” the little boy said, plaintively. “I lost him.”

Jared squeezed the little boy’s shoulder. He knew how frightening it was to be lost in the mall. He had been lost in the mall before and there were too many people, there was too much noise and it smelt funny.

“Where did you see him last?” He knew that this was the right question to ask and the little boy sniffed and swallowed.

“We were by the toy store. I was looking at a big fire truck and when I turned round to show daddy he was gone.”

Jared nodded, trying to look reassuring and wise.

“You want to maybe come up on my shoulders?” He asked, finally, thinking what a good idea it was. “I’m pretty tall – you should be able to see everybody from up here.”

The little boy’s green eyes filled again.

“I’m not allowed to talk to strangers,” he said as if he had just remembered.

“I’m not a stranger,” Jared said. “I’m Jared.”

“I’m William,” the little boy replied with a wavering smile. “Guess we aren’t strangers anymore.”

“Guess not.” Jared bent down and William took his hands. Jared took in a deep breath and lifted William up high and set him on his shoulders. “There,” he said with a grin. “You can see everyone now and we will soon find your daddy.”

***

Jensen could feel the vague unease in his gut turn into full blown panic. He had searched the mall over and over and still no sign of William. He rubbed a hand through his hair, feeling sweat on his brow. His little boy was lost and – if he couldn’t find him soon – he would have to call the cops.

He bit his lip; he could just imagine Danneel’s reaction to that. He had fought long and hard to get custody of his son and he knew his ex wife would love something, anything that she could use as ammunition against him. He began to walk back towards the toy store again hoping upon hope that he would be able to spot his five year old son in the ever growing throng.

When he did spot William he almost shouted out in horror. His little boy was balanced on the shoulders of a giant. The guy was huge, broad shoulders, long legs, wild chestnut hair. His big hands gripped William’s chubby legs holding him firm and William was laughing.

“Daddy!” William spotted him and he ran towards his son heart pounding in relief. The giant saw him too and smiled, dimples in his cheeks making him look younger than Jensen had originally guessed. He swung William up off his shoulders like a monkey and deposited him at Jensen’s feet, smiling all the time.

“William.” Jensen was torn between hugging, shouting or crying. “I-I was so fu. . . so worried.”

“Sorry daddy,” William said, voice wavering. “I-I wanted to show you the fire truck.”

“Its okay.” Jensen settled for hugging, William warm in his shaking arms. “I’ve got you now.”

“Jared said I would see you.” William wriggled out of the hug.

“Jared?” Jensen looked up at the giant who had found his child. Jared was smiling still but there was something a little off about the smile. His eyes were bright, slanting and just a touch blank, his mouth hanging open just a bit, jaw slack.

“Yes, daddy, Jared helped me find you.”

“Yeah? Good job there, Jared.” Jensen smiled. “Thank you.”

“S’okay,” Jared’s voice was deep, slurry. “I should go,” he said, suddenly. “I have to be home by six.”

“It’s only four,” Jensen said, gently. “Let me at least do something to thank you.” he hugged William again. “We were gonna get ice cream – you wanna join us?”

“Can I?” Jared’s eyes lit up and he almost bounced on the balls of his feet. Jensen frowned. He must have been at least twenty six or seven but his actions and words were similar to William's.

“Sure.” Jensen held out his hand and Jared stared at it. “I’m Jensen by the way.”

“Jared.” the man didn’t take his hand just pointed to himself. “Are you William’s daddy?”

“Yeah.” Jensen tried to keep the frown from his face. “Where did you find him?”

“He was scared.” Jared didn’t answer his question. “I’m glad we found you. It is horrible to be lost. I’ve been lost before and I don’t like it.”

“Me either.” Jensen was beginning to suspect that not all was right with Jared but the man seemed harmless enough and he was still bouncing. “Look, lets go and get that ice cream now and – afterwards – I can take you home.”

Jared smiled wider and he gave William's shoulder a little squeeze. “Okay,” he whispered softly. “Thanks.”

***

Jensen watched as his son and their strange new companion ate their banana splits. Jared’s mouth was smeared with cream and chocolate and William’s t-shirt had a huge stain on the front. Jensen sipped at the coffee he had ordered and tried to make sense of everything.

“What do you do Jared?” He asked. “Do you work here in the mall?”

“No.” Jared shook his shaggy head and wiped at his mouth as if he was suddenly aware of it. “I don’t work. I can’t – I don’t – um – I can’t – my brain doesn’t – um. . . .” He scratched at his head and stared at the table. “I don’t think so well,” he finished, his cheeks flushed.

Jensen’s mouth was dry despite the coffee and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He had thought that something wasn’t right with Jared and he should have realized.

“Oh,” he replied aware of how lame it sounded.

“I bet you work though.” Jared looked up suddenly and his eyes were hopeful.

“I’m a vet,” Jensen said and Jared’s smile was so wide it almost split his face.

“Cool – do you see a lot of dogs? I love dogs but momma won’t let me have one – she says I can’t take care of myself.” His mouth turned down a little. “I bet you see lots of dogs.”

“Sure do.” Jensen smiled and wiped at William’s t-shirt with a wet cloth. “I help make them better.”

“I know what vets do.” Jared flushed again and his eyes were shadowed. “I’m not a baby.”

“I know you aren’t.” Jensen felt a stab of guilt. “You – you are a good guy – you helped William find me.”

“Yeah.” Jared smiled but it was faint, sad. “I should go now,” he said, pushing away his bowl. “Momma will want me home.”

“Can we see Jared again?” William chirped up then and he grinned at his new friend. “Maybe he could come to the zoo with us next week – he likes dogs so I bet he likes all animals.”

Jensen was caught for a moment and he glanced at Jared who was vibrating with excitement and hope and knew he couldn’t say no.

“Do you want to come?” He asked.

“I’ll have to check it out with momma but yeah – oh yeah – I’ve never been to the zoo before.”

Jensen nodded and he put down his coffee cup and smiled.

“I’ll talk to your momma when I take you home, okay?”

“Yeah.” And Jared’s smile transfigured his face, making it beautiful, innocent. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jensen said and already he was in too deep.


	2. Chapter 2

Jared gives Jensen simple directions to his house.

As they drove Jensen realizes they are entering – what he would call – a very exclusive neighborhood. The houses are huge, stand alone mansions, all white fronted, lawns neat and pristine. The animal center that employs Jensen doesn’t pay badly but he would never in a million years be able to afford a house in this district and he stares out of the window, rapt.

Jared sits in the passenger seat and doesn’t say much; since he gave Jensen the directions he has been pretty silent; William is fastened in his seat at the back and – as usual – is chattering away enough for two people. Jensen catches his eye in the rear view mirror and grins at him.

“This is my house.” Jared’s nose is pressed against the window and Jensen has to draw a sharp breath as he stares at the building in front of him. It is beautiful, a red-brick fronted house with huge bay windows and a garden that seems to stretch for miles. A gardener is working on one of the lawns and he stops what he is doing to stare openly as Jared gets out of Jensen’s car, lifting a hand to wave at Jared, a smile breaking across his tanned face.

“Hello,” he says with a wink. “What have you been up to?”

“I found William for Jensen.” Jared’s grin is wide now and Jensen can see dimples. “He is going to take me to the zoo.”

“Yeah?” The man’s blue eyes shift over to Jensen and he holds out a – slightly grubby – hand. “My name’s Steve, I do most of the work here – the lady of the house is inside. Handle with care, if you get my drift.”

Jensen took the mans hand and shook it warmly, glad for the warning. Beside him Jared was twitching again, bouncing up and down on his heels. Jensen unbuckled William and took his hand, leading him over the grass up to the front door.

“I’m not allowed a key,” Jared sounds sad and Jensen pats his wrist. “Momma thinks I’ll lose it but I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t Jensen, I’d keep it safe.”

“Daddy puts my key on a string round my neck,” William sounds as if he is sharing secrets. “For emergencies.”

“Yeah.” Jared stares at the string and at the shiny key and then he smiles again. “Maybe my momma will let me do that.”

Jensen swallowed hard; he felt stupidly nervous as he rang the doorbell and he stood tense as he listened to the footsteps coming down the hall. He had expected a maid or butler to open the door so he was surprised to see an attractive, well dressed woman with eyes so like Jared’s that she had to be his momma, standing in the doorway, a slight frown on her face.

“Jared.” She looked a little surprised. “What have I told you about bothering strangers.”

“I didn’t bother them.” Jared’s eyes were fixed on his feet. “I found William.”

Jared’s momma looked up at Jensen, head to one side and Jensen held out his hand quickly.

“My name is Jensen Ackles,” he said. “I lost my son in the mall and Jared found him for me. I was really grateful and offered him a lift home, I hope you don’t mind.”

The woman stared for a moment and then she nodded, a slight smile coloring her features.

“That was nice of you,” she said. “Please, come and have a coffee with me.” She looked down at William and then up at Jared. “Why don’t you take – William – up to your room – you could show him your . . . .” Her face reddened slightly. “Your toys, maybe he will play Nintendo with you.”

“Can I daddy?” William grinned then and grabbed Jared’s hand. “Can I?”

“Sure.” Jensen smiled then, relaxing a little. “Go ahead.”

“Don’t forget the zoo.” Jared’s eyes were wide and bright and pleading and Jensen could only smile.

“No Jared,” he said. “Of course not. I’ll ask your momma over coffee, okay?”

“Okay.” Jared beamed and his momma’s smile got wider. “See you later,” he almost shouted and dragged William up the stairs and away.

****

Jensen sat opposite Jared’s momma and felt awkward, the silence between them cloying and thick. He didn’t quite know what to say or do at this point and the only sound in the house was the loud giggling from Jared’s room and he smiled to himself happy that – at least – William was content.

“You have a nice place here,” he said, finally and his cheeks flushed at how lame it sounded.

“Thank you.” Jared’s momma put her coffee down and smiled but the smile was tight and didn’t reach her eyes. “My husband’s family are very, very rich and they insisted on paying for this house,” she sighed. “Gerry – my husband – works in the family business – real estate and such. I have to stay home and play hostess and . . . ,” she sighed again and looked down as if she realized she was giving too much away. “And give my husband children.”

“Yeah.” Jensen nodded; he didn’t really understand. He wasn’t poor by any means but he wasn’t used to wealth like this. “Do you have other kids?”

“Three. Jeffrey is in real estate with his father and Megan my youngest is away at university. Only Jared is still at home and I know it frustrates him.”

“What is wrong with him?” The minute the words left his mouth Jensen felt awful. He wanted to take them back, to make them sound better but Jared’s momma didn’t seem to be too upset by them. She looked at Jensen, hazel eyes trying to work him out, gaze shrewd and probing.

“When he was born the cord was wrapped around his neck; he lost oxygen at a vital time and he has never – he – things have been difficult,” she sighed once again. “It doesn’t matter how much money we have. Gerry has spent thousands on therapy, on treatments that don’t work. Jared isn’t stupid, Mr Ackles. He knows that he isn’t right and it hurts sometimes to see how much it upsets him.”

“He helped me find William and I can’t tell you how grateful that makes me,” Jensen said. “I was looking for – what seemed like – hours and it – I didn’t know what to do.”

“He is good with children; he has an understanding with them.” Jared’s momma gave her first real, genuine smile then. “It is so hard Mr Ackles, he is a child in a man’s body, a little boy with a man’s needs and desires.” She shrugged. “I’m so sorry,” she continued. “I’m laying all my problems at your door.”

“No – its okay,” Jensen said, swallowing hard. “It sometimes helps to talk.”

“Megan got engaged two months ago and Jeffrey is married. Jared wants that too but he doesn’t understand how to get it or even how to go about it. He is – he is such a good boy and such a strong man. His height can sometimes get him into trouble – particularly as he doesn’t know his own strength. He doesn’t know how to act around people and he sometimes does and says the wrong things. It is so nice that he was able to help you and he does seem very fond of your little boy.”

“Um – I asked him if I could take him to the zoo.” Jensen hoped he wasn’t pushing it too far. “He seems really keen.”

“I see.” Jared’s momma fumbled with her dress, fingers knotting in the fabric. “I – it won’t be easy Jensen, you do understand?”

“Yeah, but – I’ll have William with me and – and I could do with the help. William is a bundle of energy too.” He smiled, “You can trust me. Please, I’d like to – it would be a way of saying thank you.”

“Alright.” Her hazel eyes softened. “If we are going to be friends Mr Ackles – please call me Sherri, Sherri Padalecki.”

“Jensen. Call me Jensen.”

They shook hands and Sherri smiled again, soft and gentle, eyes bright.

“Take care of my baby,” she whispered. “Please.”

“Always,” said Jensen and he meant it, he really meant it.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared throws another t-shirt on the bed and sighs. He doesn’t want his momma to tell him what to wear; he wants to prove to everyone, specially Jensen, that he is a big boy. No, that he is a man and that he can do things without his momma’s help.

It is a nice day, not too hot nor too cold and it is hard to decide what to wear. He has his best jeans on but he doesn’t know whether to put a long sleeved shirt or a t-shirt on and he feels frustrated. In the end he decides to put a long sleeved shirt on over a tee and it makes him feel proud, smart almost that he made his own decision. He brushes his hair and glances at the clock. He is up way too early and has a long wait before Jensen and William get here but he is just too excited to sleep.

His mom is making sandwiches when he gets downstairs and she smiles at him sweetly.

“I thought you might want some lunch.” She puts the sandwiches in a special lunchbox, the sort his daddy uses. “There are chips as well and some fruit.” Her smile is tentative. “You will take care, won’t you?”

“I’m not a baby,” Jared muttered and then he felt immediately guilty as he watched his momma’s face fall. “I mean – Jensen will keep his eye on me and I can go to the zoo without anything happening.” He wanted so much for it be a normal day out, for him and Jensen to be like proper friends. He didn’t want Jensen to act like a carer around him, he had had plenty of those and he didn’t like it and he didn’t like them.

“I know, Jared.” His momma hugged him then, stiff and awkward. “I know.”

“I love you momma.” Jared returned her hug and felt her relax a little. “I know you love me too but you have got to let me grow sometimes.”

“I’m sorry baby.” She hugged him once more, tight and warm and then she let him go. “Jensen will be here in a minute, so go and get your coat out of the cupboard and we’ll wait by the window together.”

“Thanks, mom.” Jared kissed her hair and held her close for a long moment. “Thanks.”

****

Jared was waving as they drew up outside the house and Jensen watched as he burst out of the door and ran towards the car. He could see Sherri staring out at her son and he couldn’t pretend not to see the worry on her face. He bit his lip as he realized how hard it must be for her to let go.

Jared wore a checked shirt over a gray tee and his arms bulged in the tight sleeves. He was huge, Jensen thought with a grin. Long legs encased in faded denim, his shaggy hair brushed neatly around his face and tucked behind his ears. Slanting eyes glinted from below floppy bangs and Jensen could see dimples in Jared’s high boned cheeks. On the surface it would be hard for an outsider to see anything off or odd in Jared. He was a handsome man, muscled yet slender, his face beautiful in a strange way, his eyes innocent, warm and trusting, the sort of man any woman would be happy to date. It was only when he opened his mouth or bounced up and down on his feet that he looked different, only when his eyes went blank or his mouth turned down in frustration. Jensen wondered what it must be like for Jared, for his family and he thanked God that William was healthy and whole, thanked God that he had been blessed with good health and a bright, inquiring mind.

****

It had turned hotter by the time they got to the zoo and the sun was bright in a blue sky. The animals were all out and lively and it was hard for Jensen to tell who was the most excited, Jared or William.

They walked down the paths, pausing for ages at each cage, staring in at monkeys, lions, otters, tigers and giraffes. Jared was almost vibrating with energy and Jensen couldn’t help but smile as he put his face against the bars and made faces at the small marmosets.

“I wish momma would let me have an animal,” he said with a sigh.

“Daddy won’t let me have a dog,” William huffed. “And he works with animals all the time!”

“Are you two ganging up on me?” Jensen grinned good-naturedly.

“We could have a puppy.” William looked wistful. “Grandma would help look after it.”

“Maybe when you are a little older.” Jensen watched as the little marmoset nibbled on a piece of banana. “And can look after it yourself.”

“I could look after a dog,” Jared sounded wistful. “But momma doesn’t think I could. She doesn’t trust me.”

“I’m sure she does Jared.” Jensen touched Jared’s shoulder lightly and felt the muscle tense under his fingers. He felt a stab of sympathy both for Jared and for Sherri. He knew that Jared thought he could cope with everything and that his momma didn’t think he could cope with anything. He guessed that the answer lay somewhere in between and he wished he could help them out more.

“Today has been wonderful.” Jared put his hand against the bars, fingers trailing across it, the marmoset watching him with bright eyes. “I have had such a good time.”

“Me too.” William jumped up and down. “Can we go out again daddy? With Jared?” He turned to Jared. “Do you think your momma would let you come out again.”

“I’ve been good today, haven’t I?” Hazel eyes met Jensen’s in dumb appeal. “I’ve been really good.”

“Yeah, Jared as good as gold and I think we could all go out together again. Maybe – um – maybe you would like to visit the shelter? William helps me out there now and again.”

“Wow, really?” Jared looked so happy he might burst and Jensen felt a stab of something he didn’t recognize, a tightness in his throat and a fluttering in his stomach. “Could we?”

“William is at his mom’s next weekend,” Jensen said and he watched William’s mouth turn down, his shoulders slump. “Come on buddy,” he said. “You know that your mom spoils you.”

“I don’t like going to moms, I want to stay here.” William pouted.

“I can keep an eye on your daddy,” Jared piped up and then his cheeks flushed pink as if he realized he might have spoken out of turn.

“Would you?” William looked solemn all of a sudden. “Daddy hates it when I am away. He pretends he doesn’t but he gets lonely, don’t you?”

Jensen shook his head; he felt hot all of a sudden, his cheeks stinging. He found himself staring at two pairs of puppy like eyes, soft green and speckled hazel and he shook his head.

“William . . . .”

“Maybe you and Jared could go out to the cinema Saturday.” William looked as hopeful as if he were going himself. “You don’t have to see cartoons. Jared is a giant and he might like the sort of films you won’t let me see!”

Jared had been silent during this exchange but now he was vibrating again, the expression on his face easy to read, longing and wanting, so desperate to be accepted and so scared of rejection.

“Would you like that Jared?” Jensen asked, watching as the little marmoset finally got fed-up with them and swung away. “Do you think your momma would let you?”

“Sure.” Jared nodded, hair flopping into his face. “I’ve been to the cinema before. I like popcorn.” He grinned. “I really like popcorn.”

“I bet you do.” Jensen felt something soften inside of him and he rubbed his fingers through William’s hair. “Okay, Saturday I take you to moms and then I take Jared to the cinema and we have popcorn and on Monday we can tell you all about our weekend.”

“Really?” Jared’s Adam’s apple moved up and down and Jensen could see that his eyes were suspiciously bright.

“Yeah really,” Jensen replied and Jared’s smile was so bright that Jensen felt almost blinded by it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sherri smiled as her son entered the room, grubby and exhausted but smiling so wide it was almost too bright for her to comprehend.

He clutched a large furry gorilla under his arm and she stared at it.

“Where did you get that?”

“I won it on a game at the zoo.” Jared was kicking off his shoes and toeing at his socks, not letting go of the animal for a moment. “You had to get a ball in the bucket and I was real good at it. I won one for William as well.”

“You had a good time then?” She sighed as she tried to stop him wriggling enough to get off his shirt. “You need a bath.”

“Yeah, a real good time.” Jared yawned and let her undo his buttons without protest. “There were so many different animals.” He narrowed his eyes. “William wants a dog and so do I!”

“You know Jared, we have had this dog discussion a lot and you know what I think.”

“You think I couldn’t look after one.” His eyes were downcast and Sherri felt a stab of guilt, painful and irrational in its intensity. “But I could momma. I really could.”

“Perhaps.” She didn’t want to say no again, sometimes it felt as if she was always saying no. Sometimes she forgot that Jared was a grown man now and not a little boy. He was so innocent, so unsullied that she wanted to keep him that way and she wondered if she were too selfish, too over protective.

“Jensen is going to call you,” Jared’s voice was muffled as he pulled the t-shirt over his head, hair springing up in all directions. “About taking me out on Saturday night.”

“Taking you out?” She frowned. “Like today?”

“To the cinema,” Jared replied. “William is going to his moms and he didn’t want his dad to be lonely.”

“Would you like that?” Sherri could see the happiness and hope in her son’s eyes, the dimples in his cheeks that only came when he smiled deep and genuine.

“I like Jensen.” Jared’s answer was succinct but telling. “He is a good daddy to William and he talks to me.” He bent nearer so that his mouth was close to her ears, his breath tickling her skin. “He talks to me like I am someone. He doesn’t treat me like – like there is something not right with me.” Jared’s eyes met hers for a moment and she saw the desperation, the misery there. “I know there is something not right with me momma but – but I wish people would see beyond that like Jensen does, wish people would treat me like I was normal.”

She knew that she was one of the people he was talking about but she knew he would never say anything to her. Jared loved her and Jared loved without boundaries. He loved her whatever she did or said and he would always love her. However, she wondered if she had let him become too reliant on her, and on his family. Perhaps she should let him have his freedom a little more, let him have wings to fly the nest, to see something of the world. She bit her lip and rubbed a hand through his messy hair, her voice wobbling as she spoke.

“I like Jensen too and it is okay for him to take you out on Saturday if you want to go but for now, you smell Jared and you need a bath. Okay?”

He was smiling again, dimples and brightness and such happiness it almost overwhelmed her.

“Okay,” he said, quietly but she could feel the tremors of excitement through his body, feel him humming beneath his skin. “Thanks momma,” he said and she hugged him tight wishing she could absorb this moment and keep it with her forever.

****

Jensen pulled up outside of Jared’s house and sat in the car for a while, considering. He had tickets for the latest action movie and he hoped that Jared would enjoy it. He had no idea what Jared’s taste in films was or whether Jared would really understand what was going on. At that thought he felt instantly guilty and he rubbed his eyes, face flushing. He was growing fond of Jared and he didn’t want to be an ass by thinking things like that.

Jared opened the door; he was wearing a black shirt and baggy black jeans and his hair was clean and hanging around his shoulders in shiny waves. His eyes were bright and he was grinning wide enough for his dimples to be really deep.

“Hey,” he said and Jensen could see that he was bouncing on his heels again. “I was waiting for you.”

“Here I am!” Jensen couldn’t help but grin back at Jared and the two of them stood for a moment smiling stupidly. Then Jensen stepped back. “The car is ready,” he said. “Movie starts at seven, shall we go?”

“Yeah.” Jared turned his head and shouted, loud and strident. “Momma I’m goin’, okay? I won’t be back too late so don’t worry.”

“Alright Jared,” Sherri’s voice sounded distant and Jensen realized how hard it must be for her to let Jared go out like this, to not stand by the door or the window and watch him.

“She likes you,” Jared lowered his voice as if he were sharing secrets. “She likes you a lot.”

“I like her,” Jensen said, gently. “And I’m glad she is letting us go out.”

Jared grinned. “Can we have popcorn?” He asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah, we can.” Jensen nodded as he led the way to his car, excited himself and looking forward to the evening ahead. “We can.”

****

The cinema was quite crowded and Jensen was glad he had booked ahead. He smiled to himself as he watched Jared carry armfuls of goodies into the theater, helping him settle into his seat and making sure they were comfortable and could see clearly. Jared was happy and excited but he was also oddly still. He kept looking around, eyes on the other customers, watching as courting couples settled into their own seats, some kissing, others cuddling up to each other in open affection.

“My sister is like that,” Jared said, mouth full of popcorn. “She has a boyfriend and Jeff – Jeff is married,” he swallowed. “Everyone has someone.”

“Would you . . . would you like a girlfriend, Jared?” Jensen felt his stomach clench and there was an ache inside of him that was hard to describe.

“I-I don’t know.” Jared looked at his feet and Jensen could see, even in the dim light of the theater, that his cheeks were pink. “I wish I had someone.”

“Maybe one day, Jared.” Jensen put a hand lightly on Jared’s wrist and felt his pulse beating steady.

“No,” there was a sadness in Jared’s voice that Jensen had never heard before. “I’m not right, Jensen. No one would want me.”

Jensen gulped back the sudden lump in his throat. He tightened his grip on Jared’s wrist, wrapping his fingers around it and squeezing gently. Jared turned to look at him and his hazel eyes were shadowed, his gaze almost hidden beneath his long bangs.

“You are a great guy Jared, anyone would be proud to be seen with you.”

“Do you like being with me Jensen?” Jared asked, finally.

“Of course - I was looking forward to tonight.” It was the truth and it made Jared smile. Jensen was glad, he realized he liked that smile, it made him feel warm inside, made him feel good about himself.

“Me too Jensen.” Jared’s expression was happier again. “Me too.”

Jensen opened his mouth to speak but the lights went down and the curtains creaked back, the screen lighting up as the program began. Jared leaned back in his seat and Jensen followed suit. It wasn’t until the film actually started that he realized his hand was still wrapped around Jared’s wrist and it felt warm and right.

So he didn’t move it and Jared continued to smile.


	5. Chapter 5

The lights came up and Jensen took his hand from Jared’s wrist. Jared stared at him for a long time, blinking as if stunned by the sudden light.

 

“That was awesome.” He smiled, popcorn stuck between his teeth and smeared around his mouth. For a moment Jensen couldn’t reconcile the big, muscular man with the child-like interior and it made him feel oddly sad.

“Yeah.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tissue. “Here.” He bent forward and wiped at Jared’s mouth, the syrup and butter coming off onto the tissue.

“Thanks.” Jared’s cheeks were pink, a flush of red across the high bones. “I’m a messy eater, huh?”

“Not just you.” Jensen rubbed his hand across his own mouth to make Jared feel better. “Come on – it isn’t too late – we could maybe get a soda or a coffee in the diner across the street.”

“Cool.” Jared was beginning to vibrate again. “I’d like that.”

Jensen couldn’t help but warm to that wide smile again and he nodded.

“I’d like that too,” he said.

****

“Why don’t you live with William’s mom? My dad lives with my mom.” Jared took a swallow of his soda, eyes on Jensen’s face.

“We – we just don’t get along anymore.” Jensen tried to be as honest as he could. He had loved Danneel once and he had really thought they had a future together but they had fought – a lot – and there had been aspects of her personality that he didn’t like and he was pretty damn sure there had been things about him that she hadn’t liked either. In the end William had been the only glue holding them together and when Danneel met Chris it had been the end of the road. The custody battle had been bitter and nasty but Danneel was pregnant again now and things had calmed down between them as they attempted to be friends again.

“Oh.” Jared twirled the straw in his soda and blew bubbles down it. “Do you miss her?”

“Sometimes.” Jensen swallowed; he missed her in bed for sure. He didn’t really believe in one night stands and he was lonely without a warm body next to him. “But we used to fight too much Jared and it wasn’t good.”

Jared was quiet for the longest time and Jensen wondered what he was thinking. Finally Jared looked up at him and his expression was solemn.

“I’m glad that William stayed with you,” he said, “because if he hadn’t have gotten lost I would never have found him and – and I would never have found you.”

Jensen felt oddly touched by that statement, warmth in his gut that he couldn’t deny. He smiled.

“I’m glad too,” he said, finally. “I’m really glad Jared.”

And he meant it.

****

“Can I offer you a coffee or maybe something stronger?” Sherri smiled as Jensen settled on the sofa. Beside him Jared was bouncing up and down on the cushions but one look from his momma stilled him and he pursed his lips, sitting as still as he could. “You should go to bed sweetie,” Sherri said.

“No momma, please.” Jared shook his head. “Jensen is my guest – you can’t just – just send me to bed.” He cocked his head to one side. “I can drink coffee,” he said. “I’m not stupid.”

Sherri opened her mouth and then closed it again. She shot a glance at Jensen who quirked an eyebrow and grinned. Sherri shook her head.

“Very well – coffee all round and maybe some of my homemade cookies.”

Jared beamed and Jensen felt him shuffle a little closer, his thigh pressed warm against Jensen’s, his fingers just touching Jensen’s pulse point, subtle and away from Sherri’s gaze.

It was bright and cozy in the Padalecki’s living room. Jensen realized that in all the times he had been there he had still not met Jared’s father and he couldn’t believe how hard the man must work. His own job could take him away from home for hours and sometimes he had to work weekends or in an emergency but he had never known anyone who was away from home so much.

“Did you have a nice time?” Sherri handed Jared a mug of coffee with cream on top and Jared sipped at it, the cream sticking to the end of his pointy nose.

“Yeah it was awesome and the film was really good.” Jared wiped at his nose and gave a little sneeze. His momma looked at him fondly and Jensen could see the pride and wonder in her eyes.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Sherri said. “Thank you, Jensen.”

“No problem. In fact, I was hoping that Jared could come out with me next weekend. I am working at the shelter – they have an adoption drive.”

“An adoption drive?”

“Yes – we – um – try to get some of our waifs and strays adopted.”

Sherri narrowed her eyes and beside Jensen, Jared began to bounce again.

“I don’t see why not but Jared . . . .” She trailed off as she saw the excitement in her son’s eyes and she sighed. “I suppose we have plenty of room here,” she began.

“Momma! Momma, really – really?” Jared looked as if he might explode with happiness. “We can get a dog? A dog?”

“If you can look after it Jared, dogs are not toys you know.”

“I know.” Jared shot a look at Jensen and Jensen’s heart leapt, unable to keep the smile from his face. “I know momma – but a dog – I can – I can.”

Sherri shook her head again and looked at Jensen and for the first time since he had known her she had a genuine, warm smile on her face.

“Now see what you have done,” she said and Jensen laughed wryly.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t come home with a lion,” he promised and Jared nudged him with his thigh, wriggling closer so that he was a warm and comforting weight at Jensen’s side.

****

Jared gazed at his picture book and tried to imagine what sort of dog he would like. He had no idea that there were so many different sorts and he couldn’t decide which he liked best. He rolled over onto his back on his bed and stared at the ceiling thinking about Jensen.

He was so happy; his life had already changed since he had found William and then found Jensen. His momma seemed to trust him more, his momma liked Jensen and let him go out with Jensen. He loved being with Jensen because Jensen treated him like a normal person, Jensen didn’t think he wasn’t right, Jensen liked him and he – he liked Jensen.

He swallowed, his heart beating fast in his chest; he thought – maybe – that he felt more than friendship for Jensen, more than just ‘like’. He wanted to touch Jensen and he had felt so warm, so protected when Jensen had held his wrist during the film. He didn’t know quite what it was but it was something he hadn’t ever felt before and it made him feel so good, so right.

He hoped – deep inside – that Jensen felt the same way about him.


	6. Chapter 6

The shelter was crowded as it always was on adoption drive days.

 

Jensen could easily spot Jared above the throng of people and he was amused and touched to see William sitting happily on the young man’s shoulders. Jensen knew that Jared wasn’t the only one going home with a dog today and he had resigned himself (and his mom) to that fact days ago.

William waved and Jensen waved back; it was noisy and hot and he could hear dogs whimpering and barking, cats meowing pitifully and the occasional chirp of a bird. Jensen hoped – prayed – that William wouldn’t ask for something unsuitable and he shrugged off his white coat, taking off his over shirt and stretching his arms.

“Hey.” Jared seemed to have weaved his way through the crowds. “How are you Jensen? Do you want some soda?”

“I’m good.” Jensen grinned as William scramble down Jared’s back like a little monkey coming down a tree. “Have you seen any nice pups yet?”

Jared’s cheeks were flush with excitement.

“They are all nice,” he said with a sigh in his voice. “But momma told me I shouldn’t get something too big.” He bit his lip. “She trusts me to do this on my own Jensen and – and I am scared that I won’t get it right and that she will be disappointed in me.”

“You will be fine Jared.” Jensen felt that odd warm clench in his stomach that he would forever associate with Jared. “Just let the dog pick you! It is easier that way!”

“Really?” Jared’s head was on one side as he considered what Jensen had said. “Okay then. Can you – I mean – have you time to come and have a look around with William and me?”

“Sure, Jared.” Jensen nodded and gave William a swift hug. “Let’s go and look – cos I have a feeling, William wants me to choose a pup for us too.”

“Yay daddy!” William cheered and almost exploded with excitement. “Hear that Jared? We are gonna get a dog too and our dogs could be friends. We could walk them together.”

“I’d love that!” Jared beamed and his smile was wide. Hazel eyes shone and he glanced across at Jensen, his cheeks pink again. “I’d love that.”

“I think I’d love that too,” Jensen added and Jared put a big hand on his arm, swift and quick, fingers squeezing. “I’d love that too, Jared.”

****

“This one daddy,” William pointed to the huge slobbery beast that sat patiently in its pound. Beside him Jared was poking his fingers through the bars with no thought or fear and the huge slobbery beast was licking at them, tail going back and forth so hard it was virtually blowing them away.

“Isn’t he a little big.” Jensen swallowed and, beside him, Jared let out a laugh.

“He’s huge,” he giggled. “But if you don’t want him I’ll take him home.”

Jensen thought of the drooling dog in Sherri’s lovely house and he sighed, shaking his head.

“You could ride him William,” he said, finally.

“Really?” William looked even more excited at the prospect and Jensen couldn’t help but join in with the laughter. “Can we take him daddy? Please.”

Jensen looked at the dog and the dog looked at Jensen. Brown eyes met his and the dog’s tail began to wag again. Jensen felt the strange odd clenching in his stomach, familiar and warm and he realized that he was obviously a pushover when it came to huge and pleading puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, wondering what the hell he was doing. “We can take him.”

****

Jared’s pup was smaller, sweet, a little cross breed that had a waggly tail and soft eyes and was in Jared’s arms as soon as he could get his hands on her, snuggling up to her and burying his head in her soft fur.

“She’s lovely,” Jared said and Jensen saw that his eyes were bright with tears. “I’m gonna be able to take her home, right?”

“Yeah.” Jensen’s own throat was tight; he had never met anyone quite like Jared, so big and muscular and yet so gentle and child-like. There was something about Jared that everyone seemed to love, including his son and the little dog that Jared had adopted and it made Jensen feel so warm, so happy to even be in Jared’s company. “Lets take them both home, should we?”

****

“Momma likes her,” Jared’s voice came over the cell, soft and tinny. “Sadie is sitting on momma’s knee right now.” There was a pause as Jared took a deep breath. “Can’t wait to walk her, Jensen. Can we – can we go tomorrow maybe?”

“Sure.” Jensen was watching William sitting on Harley’s back. The huge mastiff cross seemed happy and content and didn’t appear to have a nasty bone in his body. There was something vaguely Jared like about him and that only made Jensen like him more. “I’ll pick you up around ten and we can go to the park.”

“I can’t wait.” Jensen heard Jared yawn and he smiled to himself.

“You should go to bed Jared, you sound all in.”

“It’s been a wonderful day,” Jared said. “The best. I – meeting you was – Jensen . . . .” He fell silent for a moment and Jensen could almost hear him thinking, hear him searching for the words.

“I know, Jared,” Jensen said, softly, thinking how his own life had changed for the better. “I know.”

“Jensen I think that I . . . .” There was wonder in Jared’s voice and – if he closed his eyes – Jensen could almost visualize him, bright eyes and deep dimples, hiding his pink cheeks behind his floppy hair.

“Hey,” Jensen kept his voice low. “Don’t tell me now, okay? Tell me tomorrow – face to face.”

“Sure.” Jared was smiling; Jensen could hear it in his voice. “Tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you then,” Jensen said and he heard Jared sigh.

“See you then,” he replied.

****

Jared didn’t know quite what to say or even how to say it; he knew the words, he had heard them often enough but he had never said them, not really, only to his momma or his sister and it was hard to imagine saying it to someone else. But he had to; he had to, because he couldn’t hold it inside, the way he felt, the way Jensen made him feel. It had to come out; he had to let it out even though he didn’t know how.

He was nervous and agitated waiting for Jensen to arrive; Sadie on a lead beside him. He could see his momma giving him odd looks and he tried to behave as normally as possible, stroking the dog and talking to her, feeling her soft fur beneath his fingers, taking comfort from her.

“Jared,” his momma sounded gentle, concerned. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” His cheeks flushed and he shook his head; he didn’t want to say it to his momma, not now, not until he had said it to Jensen. He remembered Meggie and her boyfriend, he remembered seeing them kiss, seeing them wrapped around each other and he realized that he wanted that with Jensen. He bit his lip wondering if Jensen wanted it with him too.

“Do you feel okay?”

He nodded.

“Yeah – fine – better than fine – just happy – I – thank you momma for letting me have Sadie.”

“Thank Jensen.” She was staring at him as if she knew what he was thinking. “He persuaded me.”

“Do you like Jensen?” It was important to him and she knew it. Her eyes softened further and she put a gentle hand on his arm, her expression telling him that it was alright, that it was okay.

“Yes baby,” she whispered. “I like Jensen and I know you like him too.”

“I do,” he said and she nodded as if she understood. “I really do.”

“I’m glad you are happy,” she said, finally and he hugged her close, knowing that it was going to be okay.

“I’m glad too,” he replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Jensen let the big dog pull him along and he wondered what the hell he had let himself in for.

Sadie on the other hand was a sweetheart in comparison. Jared had her off her leash and was throwing a ball for her. William was laughing and running here and there, Harley barking at his enthusiasm and desperate to join in.

Jensen was watching Jared; the younger man seemed quiet but happy and Jensen wondered what was on his mind. It was pretty obvious Jared wanted to say something but wasn’t going to. He answered Jensen’s questions with a simple yes or no and just seemed content to be silent.

After an hour, Jensen suggested that they go to his house for some tea. William seemed excited by the suggestion whilst Jared just smiled and nodded, fastening Sadie’s leash around her neck and following Jensen to his car.

“You are awful quiet today.” Jensen pulled out of his parking spot and coasted onto the road. William was half asleep in his car seat and the dogs were sitting obediently behind the little screen he had put in the back to protect his precious leather. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Jared nodded and smiled at him but the pink of his cheeks and his almost over bright eyes made his statement a lie. “Just excited I guess.”

“Jared.” Since the first time they had met Jensen had almost thought Jared incapable of lying but now he was pretty sure that the younger man was hiding something. “Tell me the truth, dude.”

Jared went impossibly pinker and glanced into the rear view mirror. William was fast asleep now and his head lolled to the side, mouth slightly open. Jared bit his lip and rubbed his hands on his jeans.

“Do you like me Jensen?” He blurted out suddenly and Jensen frowned, mouth dry and heart pounding as he tried to work out what Jared was trying to say.

“Of course I do Jared,” he replied. “I like you a lot.”

“Oh.” Jared chewed hard on his lip, teeth buried in the full pinkness. “I’m glad.”

“You are a good guy, Jared.” Jensen wanted to do and say the right thing but he didn’t quite know what the right thing was. “I really like you and so does William.”

“Good.” Jared’s eyes were fixed on his denim clad thighs, his hands still rubbing on the material, his cheeks still pink. “Jensen - I . . . .”

Jensen glanced into the mirror at William and made a decision.

“Look he is worn out and usually he will sleep until morning if I manage to get him out of the car without waking him. Why don’t we get home and get him to bed and then – then we’ll have a chat. Okay?”

“Okay.” There was no disguising the relief in Jared’s voice and Jensen’s stomach clenched. There would be no avoiding this talk now he guessed and he felt his own heart leap, his own excitement grow. There was warmth in his gut that he couldn’t put down to anything else and he could only hope and pray that he was doing the right thing.

****

William was tucked in bed and they sat downstairs on the soft sofa; Jensen had a beer and Jared a soda and their thighs brushed together, the warmth of Jared’s skin noticeable even through several layers of denim. Jared was silent again but Jensen could feel the fine tremors of his body, feel him almost vibrate with something he was having a problem to contain.

“Jared.” He turned and found himself face to face with the younger man, his tip-tilted nose almost touching Jensen’s, his eyes wide and blown. For a moment time stood still and then their lips met, tentative and clumsy, Jared’s teeth clashing with his own, Jared’s hands awkward on his shoulders, fingers biting, breath harsh in his ears. It was an odd kiss without passion and intent, chaste but adoring, fervent but hesitant all at once.

“I love you, Jensen.” Jared’s voice was just a pant against his mouth as the kiss broke. “I love you.”

It was what he had expected but the affect it had on him was something of a surprise. His heart stuttered in his chest and his body grew hot, his stomach aching, his thighs trembling alongside Jared’s, his head trying to work out what to say but his heart already certain.

“Jared,” the name on his lips was almost reverent. “Jared.”

Jared took in a breath and kissed him again. There was nothing chaste about it this time but it was obvious that Jared had never really kissed with purpose before and Jensen gentled him, trying to show him what to do, trying to make it good and right for both of them.

He wasn’t gay; shit he had been with Danneel for years and before that there had been other women but this – this was something beautiful and unexpected. Jared was giving him a gift and he had to take it and handle it carefully because if he did one thing wrong he would break it and then – then everything would go wrong and he couldn’t, wouldn’t let that happen, wouldn’t do that to Jared.

He deepened the kiss; letting his tongue move across Jared’s lip, letting the younger man open up for him, feeling him relax against his body, fingers no longer digging into his shoulders, mouth more tender now that the urgency was gone.

For his part Jared felt as if he were flying. There was a strange sensation in his gut, a fluttering that felt like a million butterflies, a surging heat that made him shake, tremble, a tightness in his jeans that almost begged for touch. He was kissing Jensen, he was kissing him and he had told him that he loved him and now – now he could only wait for a reply.

Jensen’s groin hurt but he ignored the signals that his body was sending him; this was something that could only be done with caution, with care, with love. He wanted – God – he wanted. He wanted Jared’s hands on his skin, wanted Jared’s mouth on him but he didn’t want to frighten him or to force him. Instead he held him close, breaking his lips from Jared for a moment, just a moment, to say the words that he knew Jared wanted to hear, to make things as good for Jared as they were for Jensen, to make all of Jared’s hopes and dreams reality.

“I love you too,” he whispered and he heard Jared sigh against him, felt rather than saw his smile, the heat between them scorching. “I love you too.”

And at that moment life could not be more perfect for either of them.


	8. Chapter 8

Their courtship is tentative and sweet.

Jensen knows – more than anything – that he has to be careful around Jared and that this relationship is not going to be anything like easy and it will take a whole lot of thinking about; that he will have to be cautious and tactful and really, really try to be the better man.

There is so much to discover and it is something that he is going to have to do alone. He knows now, that he loves Jared. Loves him with all his flaws and his limitations but it is these flaws and limitations he is going to have to take into account and he feels that – in this – he is on his own.

Sure Jared made the first move but Jensen isn’t sure how much Jared knows or wants. It isn’t something he can go and ask Sherri about either. It isn’t the sort of thing he can discuss over tea and cakes, 'Hey Sherri – just how much does your son know about the physical side of love?', isn’t going to go down at all well and Jensen wonders if it will ever be possible to go there.

Despite his gentle nature and his innocence and charm, Jared isn’t perfect. Jensen knows that, he can see how frustrated Jared is, how much his own situation angers him. In some ways that is a good thing, Jared knows his limitations but knowing them is different from accepting them and Jared – Jared is so far from acceptance right now. Jared’s brother and sister live away from the family home, they have jobs and lives and Jared – Jared has only just started to ‘dip his toe in the water’ and Jensen sees how much that means to him. The addition of Sadie has certainly helped because it made Jared the carer rather than the cared for and Jensen has seen how good the younger man is with William too. Seeing Jared take tentative steps out of his comfort zone is satisfying and wonderful and Jensen loves him all the more for it but he knows it isn’t enough and he isn’t certain how much more Jared is capable of.

The other major thing is that – until now at least – Jensen wasn’t gay. Maybe he still isn’t but he cannot deny that he finds Jared physically attractive. To the outside eye Jared is perfection, all long limbs and muscles, soft hair and wide smile. Jensen has seen the way others look at Jared, the way women gaze at him with longing, the way waitresses flirt with him, touch him ‘accidentally’, smile at him with their tongues between their mouths, wanting. Jensen knows that Jared doesn’t respond to the flirting, that he smiles and laughs and is friendly but it is in the same way that William does. Jensen is pretty certain that, firstly, Jared is completely unaware of his own attractiveness and that secondly, Jared doesn’t particularly ‘look’ at women, people in general in that same way. He does – however – seem to find Jensen attractive or his kisses and gentle touches seem to indicate that. Jensen is trying to reconcile his own sexuality as well as deal with all these other things and it exhausts him sometimes even as much as it pleases him, makes him unexplainably happy.

****

Today, they were on their first real ‘date’. Jensen wanted to take Jared out somewhere but he was unsure on what to do. Finally he decided to take Jared to his favorite restaurant. It wasn’t al a carte by any means and it was casual enough for them to both dress down and behave as they wanted but Jensen loved the food there, loved the steak and the pizza and the huge desserts and he felt that it was an excellent place to take Jared, a good place for them to get to know each other better and to explore their fledgling relationship away from prying eyes.

Jared was excited; Jensen could always tell. Jared’s eyes were over bright and he couldn’t stop smiling. He kept pointing to things on the menu, shuffling slightly in his seat.

“I-I don’t know what to choose,” he said, finally, cheeks flushing a little. “There is so much on the menu.”

“Have a little bit of everything.” Jensen risked putting his hand over Jared’s, gentle and firm. “My treat.”

“I’ve never . . . this is . . . it is . . . .” Jared swallowed, his eyes downcast for a moment. “No one ever did this for me, before.”

“That is what you do if you love someone,” Jensen said, softly and Jared looked up suddenly, hazel eyes wide.

“Really?” He looked at Jensen’s hand over his. “Like Jeff and his wife? Megan and her boyfriend?”

“Yeah, just like them.” Jensen felt Jared’s skin shiver beneath his hand and he smiled, stroking his fingers along the broad expanse of skin. Jared flushed deeper and he leant forward, his mouth close to Jensen’s ear.

“I like it when you do that,” he said. “It makes me . . . .” His face was almost puce now and Jensen felt his own answering flush as he realism what Jared was getting at. He took his hand away as tactfully as he could and called the waiter over. Jared stared at him for a moment and Jensen hoped he hadn’t upset him but Jared just smiled and Jensen was relieved, knowing that Jared ‘got it’.

“What does your mom think?” He bit into his own tender steak and wiped at his mouth. “About us?”

“She’s happy but. . . .” Jared looked around. “I didn’t tell her about the kiss,” he breathed out. “It is private, right?”

“Right!” Jensen grinned and watched, silent, for a moment as Jared chewed at his food, eyes distant and fixed. “Jared – you make me so happy you know that?”

“You make me happy too.” Jared swallowed his food. “I want – there is more to this than kissing, right?”

Jensen knew that one of his many internal questions was being answered there and then and he lowered his voice.

“Yeah – much more.”

“You didn’t think I knew.” Jared’s eyes were sad despite his smile. “I know my momma doesn’t think I know and my daddy never even wants to mention it but – but I’m not stupid Jensen – I do know things, I know there is more than kissing and I want that – with you.”

“God – Jared.” Jensen’s mouth went dry and he pushed away the rest of his food, no matter how delicious it was. “I don’t want to go too fast, okay?”

“Okay.” Jared was playing with his food and his shoulders were slumped, his hair hiding his expression. He looked for the world like William when someone had taken his favorite toy away and Jensen realized just how hard this was going to be, realized just how noble he was going to have to be in all of this.

“I love you Jared. I want us to be – I want us to be together, okay? But it is my first relationship since my wife went away and I know this is your first ever proper relationship. We can’t just rush into – things – I want to take you out like we are doing now, I want to buy you things, to – to be part of your life.”

“Jensen,” Jared’s voice was soft. “I want all those things too but – but when you touch me – it – um – everything aches and – but – it is a good ache Jensen – and I want – I just want.”

“Yeah.” Jensen couldn’t hold back a wry smile, his own jeans tighter than they should be. “I know what you want baby cos I want it too but Jared patience, right? We need to do this properly. I don’t want your momma to chase me with a broom or something.”

Jared giggled then and went back to his food, eyes brighter than they were, expression hopeful.

“My momma doesn’t have a broom,” he said and Jensen grinned, relieved that he had managed to get over that one hurdle and pretty sure he was ready to jump even more.

****

Jared lay in his bed; Sadie was sleeping in her basket by his side and he could hear her little doggy snores. He felt warm and replete and the food in the restaurant had been good, real good and he had liked being with Jensen and couldn’t wait to be with Jensen again.

He wriggled beneath the sheets and stared out into the darkness; he was twenty-eight years old now, just celebrated another birthday and he knew that he should be grown-up about things, that he should handle things better than he did. He thought about Jensen, about the way Jensen’s eyes darkened, about the way Jensen had put his hand over Jared’s, stroked his skin like it was something precious. His jeans had gotten tight then and his stomach had ached. He had wanted to kiss Jensen right there and – and he had wanted Jensen to put his hands on him, on all of him, he knew what it meant and he knew he wanted it and he wondered if the ache would ever go away.

He wasn’t stupid; what Jensen said made perfect sense but that didn’t stop him wanting it. He wasn’t a good reader but he had read things and – and Jeff had let him watch ‘films’ when his momma had been out. He knew what men and women did together, knew how babies were made. He was pretty certain that – that men didn’t do the same things with men but he was also pretty certain that they did do things with each other and – and it made him hot to think about doing ‘that’ with Jensen. He may be stupid in some people’s eyes but he wasn’t a child, he wasn’t. He was a grown up man and he should have some choice in all this. He sighed and rolled onto his side, his hand stroking the waistband of his pajama pants, his fingers longing to push them down. He’d like to bet that Jensen didn’t wear pajamas and he wished that he wasn’t made to wear them either. He wasn’t five like William and he should have some say in his own future.

He got out of bed with some intent and took off his pajamas. The night air was cool on his skin and goose bumps rose up across his skin, prickling and tingly. He tossed the pajamas into his washing hamper and climbed back into bed, the starchy sheets soft against his hectic flesh. The feeling of being naked and free made him feel different, in control somehow and he knew – deep in his heart – that this is what he wanted. He wanted to be treated like a man not a little boy and this – this right here was the start of it.

He smiled to himself and closed his eyes.

Today was the first day of the rest of his life and he was going to do things right.


	9. Chapter 9

Jensen strokes the little dog and gives his owner a smile.

The best part of his job is making animals better and seeing the relief and gratitude on the faces of those he has helped and he pats the old lady’s arm.

“He’s as good as new,” he said. “Bring him back in, next week and we’ll get those stitches out.” He shook his head as she reached into her purse. “No,” he said, gently, “you know the shelter won’t take your money. You could perhaps bring me some candy next time you come in.”

He watched as the old lady left, cuddling her dog as if her life depended on it. Then he began to wipe his hands, stretching, another day over and done with.

“Dr Ackles?” A low voice broke into his thoughts and he turned to see a smartly dressed man standing behind him. He wore a pinstripe suit and clean white shirt, matching tie and very shiny shoes. He certainly wasn’t a client and Jensen frowned.

“Yeah – that’s me.”

“Gerald Padalecki.” The man’s eyes narrowed and Jensen’s heart jolted. “I can see by your face that you are surprised to see me.”

“You could say that.” Jensen shouldered out of his white coat and rubbed at his face. “I’m not sure we should do this here.”

“Do what?” There was a smirk on Gerald’s face that Jensen didn’t like and he felt as if he were being judged and found instantly wanting. “I just needed to see you. Sherri has told me a lot about you and Jared – well you know Jared – he never stops talking.”

“Look . . . .” Jensen didn’t know what he was going to say and he chewed on his lower lip, eyes on Gerald’s impassive face.

“No! You look, Dr Ackles! I have no idea what you are playing at or what you want with my son but you have to realize that – that Jared is not and never will be normal.”

“I-I don’t want anything with your son.” Jensen’s heart was pounding and his stomach ached. “I – he - .” He flushed, struggling for words. “We are taking it slowly. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.”

“You do realize that he isn’t considered able to form his own decisions, to give his consent to . . . .” The man’s smile was oily. “Well you know. I am his legal guardian and could have you prosecuted if you try anything untoward.”

“I won’t – I haven’t.” Jensen’s face grew hotter and anger began to mix with concern. “Your son – he is a great guy and there is more to him than meets the eye. I-I love him and so does my little boy b-but there hasn’t been anything – um . . . .” He felt his whole body tingle with embarrassment. “Physical.”

“Did you know I came home and found my son sleeping naked?” Gerald shook his head and brushed an invisible thread from his jacket. “He had thrown away his pajamas – said that only babies wore them and that he was no baby.” He looked at Jensen, eyes sharp. “And you tell me there is nothing between you.”

“Mr Padalecki, please.” Jensen had no idea what he was going to say right now. “I – please. Jared is – we are - .”

“I love my children.” For a moment hawk-like eyes softened. “Jeff will take over the business from me when I am ready and Megan is a straight A student whose fiancé is a lawyer in the making. Jared – Jared will never be any of those things and it makes me angry to think that one moment of carelessness, that one simple thing caused this. Our boy – our boy who could have been so clever, so bright, is now so damaged.”

“Please.” Jensen risked putting a hand on Gerald’s arm and the older man looked up at him. “you – he isn’t a child you know. He knows that he is damaged and do you know what that does to him? He wants so much to be like the others, to do the things that the others do. He has made me so happy, made my little boy so happy. Don’t take him away from us.”

“I must say, I am surprised.” Gerald Padalecki’s face was smooth but his eyes were shrewd, knowing. He reached into his pocket and drew out an envelope. It was thick and bulging and he handed it over to Jensen without a word. “I was hoping that this would be enough.”

“What?” Jensen dropped the envelope without even opening it. “You were going to give me money?”

“Yes.” There was no guilt in the man’s eyes. “If everything else failed.”

“I wouldn’t take your money if you offered me a million dollars!” Jensen was angry now and he had to thrust his hands in his pocket to keep from thumping the man. “You have already laid out for me, how easy it would be for you to stop me seeing Jared. You have already threatened prosecution and the rest and now, you are trying to buy me. Can’t you just try to accept us? I just want to make your son happy.”

“So I see.” Gerald picked up the envelope and put it back into his pocket. “My wife is having a dinner party next week and we would like to see you and your son there Dr Ackles. If you are determined to do the ‘right’ thing by my son then I expect you will come.”

Jensen stared at Gerald Padalecki, mouth dry. He couldn’t even begin to understand the man. First threats, then bribery and now this.

“I’ll come,” he answered. “But for Jared – not for you. Do you understand?”

“Perfectly,” the man said and then as quick as he had arrived he was gone and Jensen was left staring at the empty space he left still trying to work out what had happened.

****

He decided not to take William and left his son with his grandma promising him that he – and Jared would take William to the carnival next week and that nothing would stop that happening.

He rang the doorbell and almost fainted with relief when it was Jared that answered. Jared beamed at him and bent down to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead. Whatever had happened didn’t seem to have affected him and Jensen was incredibly thankful for that.

“Daddy said he had invited you.” Jared was bouncing again and Jensen put his hand on his arm to still him. “Where’s William?”

“Thought he might find a dinner party boring.” Jensen forced a smile and hoped that Jared didn’t notice. He felt uneasy and his stomach was churning and he wanted this to go well.

“Well they are.” Jared gestured to the pristine white shirt and pressed black jeans he was wearing. “My daddy always makes me dress up and I’m gonna spill food down myself.” He stepped back to let Jensen in. “Hey,” he said in a loud whisper that could hardly be called a whisper at all. “I threw away my PJ's.” He grinned, all dimples and white teeth. “I’m a big boy now, Jensen – I don’t need them.”

Jensen’s cheeks flushed; he didn’t want Jared to know what had happened between him and Gerald and he hoped that the older man might have changed his opinion in the last few days. He looked up to see Sherri appear in the doorway and saw the pain and worry in her hazel eyes, saw how concerned she was.

“Hi.” He went over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled at him weakly.

“I’m sorry about Gerry,” her voice was pitched low so only he could hear it. “He – he can be like a bull in a china shop sometimes.”

“I can understand,” Jensen began but she shook her head.

“He wants what he wants and he has never given Jared a chance.” She sighed, “He thinks he is a permanent child, someone to protect and wrap up in cotton wool. I was guilty of that too until I met you and William. Jared is happy, Jensen and surely that is all that matters.”

Jensen swallowed and held her for a moment longer, pleased that she understood.

“Yeah,” he said, finally. “That is all that matters.”

****

Dinner was awkward and Jensen couldn’t help but think that it was exactly what Gerald wanted.

Jared’s brother and sister were there and Jensen was introduced to them by Sherri as, a good friend of Jared’s although it was clear from their behavior and their demeanor that they already had an idea of what sort of ‘friend’ he was. Jared was oblivious, talking non stop about Sadie and Harley and the zoo. He sat next to Jensen and kept letting his hand slip so that it sat warm on Jensen’s thigh. His smile was bright and he was vibrating and it was only his presence, his very being there that kept Jensen sane.

There was very little talk; Megan kept staring at Jensen as if he had two heads and Jeff said nothing to him, ignoring him as if he weren’t there. Gerald was smooth, charming and he acted as if their meeting in Jensen’s surgery was just to invite him here tonight. Jensen felt as if he was on a knife edge and he wanted nothing more than for this to be over.

He didn’t know what to do; he loved Jared and it was obvious that Sherri – at least – approved of their relationship but it was also clear that Gerald and the rest of Jared’s family were not so accepting. He knew that it wasn’t just because of their relationship becoming intimate but because he was a man. He also knew that Gerald was incredibly protective of his son but there was also his refusal to believe that Jared could change, could achieve something and that made things harder still.

He could feel Jared’s hand warm on his thigh, feel Jared’s breath against his cheek as Jared chatted on – oblivious. He loved Jared but maybe; just maybe, this was going to be too hard, too much. Perhaps if he got out now he could do so without too much pain to either Jared or himself. Maybe if he got up and left tonight and never came back then Jared would be okay, that Jared would be alright without him.

He risked a glance at Jared and his heart ached; Jared was staring at him with such love and trust, the hand on his thigh tightening, Jared’s eyes bright and sharp as if he could read Jensen’s mind, as if he knew what Jensen was planning.

“Don’t let daddy scare you,” Jared’s voice was low, his whisper for Jensen’s ears only. “Please, Jensen. I love you, we can do this. We can.”

Jensen sighed and put his hand over Jared’s, unable to hide the love and affection in his eyes, unable to turn his back on Jared, unable to stop loving him.

He looked up for a moment and caught Megan’s eye. She looked at him and her mouth turned up, her head to one side, something that looked like approval in her expression. He saw Jeff staring at him, saw him considering Jensen, saw the interest in his gaze. For a moment he let out a breath he did not know he was holding and he smiled back at both of them, realization hitting him and making him warm all over.

They were on his side; they wanted this for their brother, they wanted Jared to be happy. For a moment Jensen paused and then he bent his head towards Jared’s and dropped a chaste but meaningful kiss onto his cheek.

“I’m gonna make sure this works baby,” he whispered and Jared smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning - Some sex in this one. I have tried to be as sensitive and in keeping with the story as I can – but if you feel it will disturb – please heed this warning & skip the chapter**

The carnival was held in the center of town and was the highlight of the year.

William had had trouble sleeping for the last few nights and had spent most of them perched by his bedside window and watching the rides, stalls and food tents be erected. By the time Saturday came around, Jensen was relieved; at least after tonight he might be able to get some sleep.

When he went to pick Jared up he was aware that he was as excited as William. He didn’t stop talking, about the dinner party, about how much Jeff and Megan had liked Jensen, about how he had saved his allowance so that he had plenty of money to spend at the carnival. William hopped beside him, swinging on his huge hand and Jensen couldn’t help but smile when he realized that he had two children to look after and that he certainly had his work cut out for him.

When he arrived at the carnival though, the swirling in his gut made him realize that maybe he wasn’t looking after two children but was part of a gang of three! The whole place was alight, rides roaring, music playing, the scent of cotton candy and hot dogs permeating the night air. Jensen breathed in the smells and sights and his own excitement churned as he watched the roller coaster and wondered if he dared go on it.

“Wow.” Jared followed his gaze. “You are gonna be sick if you go on that Jensen.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge.” He grinned at Jared and was rewarded with a wide, loving smile.

“Loser gets to buy the cotton candy,” Jared said and he broke into a run with Jensen and William following after him, their laughter echoing through the noisy carnival ground.

Jared won the challenge easily and after three goes on the roller coaster while Jensen ‘watched’ William because he was too small to go on it, he suggested they try something else. The rest of the night was a blur, a whirl of exhilaration, stimulation and happiness, the three of them like a small family, holding hands and giggling, wishing that the experience would last a lifetime.

Jensen carried William to the car; his son was fast asleep, clinging to the huge brown bear that Jared had won for him on the darts. It had been one of the highlights of the night for Jensen, watching how fantastic Jared was at the games. He had been just as accurate at the zoo and Jensen wondered at the irony of life; Jared’s hand and eye co-ordination was sharper than a pin and he didn’t seem to be able to miss. He had won several bears, a huge balloon and three goldfish which he had given to William. Jensen sighed as he placed the plastic bags in the trunk, now he needed to buy a tank and now he had even more pets and he had to blame Jared for that one.

It was late but Jared begged and pleaded and Jensen took him home with them. He had plenty of spare rooms and he told Sherri – honestly – that he couldn’t really leave William alone so that he could drive Jared back. Sherri sounded tired but happy and thanked him again for what he had done. He wanted to ask about Gerald but the words got stuck in his throat and he said goodbye quickly, putting down the phone and boiling some milk to make hot chocolate.

Jared looked tired; his eyes fuzzy and his lids were at half mast. He snuggled up to Jensen on the sofa and rested his head on Jensen’s thigh, hair falling softly over Jensen’s jeans, Jensen unable to resist the temptation to stroke it, savoring the silkiness.

“Today was my best day,” Jared mumbled as he rolled onto his back and smiled, sleepily, up at Jensen. “I thought getting Sadie was my best day but – but today beats even that. It was awesome, Jensen. Thanks.”

“I loved it too, Jared.” Jensen grinned and tangled his fingers in Jared’s unruly hair. “It was wonderful.”

“I love you, Jensen.” Jared seemed more awake now and he lifted his head slightly, his hand coming up and cupping the back of Jensen’s head and pulling him down so that their lips met suddenly and clumsily, tongues and teeth clashing, the kiss messy and with some passion.

Jensen let himself get lost in the kiss for a long moment; he kept his eyes closed, his tongue tangling with Jared’s, his cock growing stiff in his jeans, temptation so close again and him trying so hard to do the right thing.

“Jared.” He broke the kiss finally, panting and trying to extricate himself from underneath Jared’s head. “We should go to bed.”

“Together?” It was a simple enough question and Jensen could only gaze into those trusting hazel eyes, his own thoughts jumbled.

“Jared you know that isn’t such a good idea.”

“I love you Jensen. I know that there is more than kissing. I got rid of my PJ’s Jensen, I’m a big boy now and I want more than kissing.”

“I know you do, baby.” Jensen bit his lip, his cock aching now, his hands desperate to touch and caress, wanting to give Jared what he wanted. “But – it isn’t a good idea, Jared.”

“Please.” He got up then and pulled Jensen’s hand. “We can just cuddle, please.”

“If you lie next to me Jared we will be doing more than cuddling.”

Jared giggled then and he cocked his head to one side, eyes on the bulge in Jensen’s jeans.

“Let me touch you.”

“Jared.” His mouth was dry and he could feel his hands shaking, his thighs trembling. “God.”

“I know my daddy doesn’t think I know things but I do and I know I want to touch you.” Jared bent his knees and settled in between Jensen’s thighs, long fingers fumbling with Jensen’s zipper. Jensen gulped and tried to move back but Jared held him firm, his eyes bright and determined. “I want this Jensen,” he whispered. “Let me have it.”

Jensen went limp and stopped fighting; he couldn’t do this anymore, he couldn’t keep Jared at arm’s length. Jared might be innocent, might be different but he was no fool, no baby. Jared was a man with a man’s needs and it was getting too hard to stop him doing what he wanted. Jared laughed, softly and – finally – got his zip undone, long, damp fingers wrapping around his cock, making him gasp in pleasure and guilt as Jared began to move his hand up and down, up and down, until Jensen was biting back moans and thrusting into Jared’s tight fist.

He came with a whimper; Jared smiled up at him, eyes hidden beneath his floppy bangs, cheeks pink. He tucked Jensen away and rubbed his thigh, his head resting on Jensen’s hip.  
Jensen could see that Jared was hard and he swallowed as he – gently – moved his hand down Jared’s body, stroking his chest, his belly and, finally, his groin, feeling the throb of Jared’s erection beneath his seeking fingers.

“Oh Jensen.” Jared’s eyes were closed and his mouth was open; the pleasure on his face was obvious. “That is so nice.”

“Baby,” Jensen couldn’t hold back the affection, the terms of endearment that tripped off his tongue. “Jared, I love you so much.”

Jared groaned; he helped Jensen unzip his jeans, helped him take out his erection, watched as Jensen wrapped his fingers around it, jerking his hips as he fell into the pleasure, words tumbling from his mouth, his body moving, his eyes tight closed now.

Jared came hard; he was panting and his heart was pounding. He had never felt like this in his whole life; this was better than candy, better than the roller coaster, better even than walking Sadie. The feelings inside of him were jumbled, the ache in his groin and stomach gone in an explosion of pleasure. He had what the others had now. He had someone who loved him, someone to love and he wanted it to be forever. He sighed and snuggled closer to Jensen, fingers resting on Jensen’s thigh, Jensen’s own hand still loose around his cock, holding Jared as if he were something precious.

“I love you,” Jensen said and Jared felt his heart soar.

“I love you too,” he replied.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler warning: Warning for character death - not one of the J's.

Jensen awoke with Jared wrapped around him like a rug.

He glanced at his watch and realized that it was nearly nine on a Sunday morning and that William would be up soon. He sighed; he wasn’t ready for William to find him in bed with anyone let alone another man and he certainly wasn’t ready for the reports of his activities to go back to Danneel or even worse Gerald Padalecki. Reluctantly he shook Jared gently by the shoulders and blew across his cheekbone to wake him.

Jared awoke slowly; his hazel eyes were heavy and his smile dopey. He seemed to take a while to realize where he was but as soon as he did his smile grew wide and warm.

“Jensen.” He bent over and dropped a kiss on Jensen’s forehead, his naked chest hot and sweaty against Jensen’s own. Jensen felt something hard against his thigh and he bit his lip to resist touching again. He had wanted it last night and so had Jared but they were still in the very early stages of ‘this’ sort of relationship and now was not the time or the place.

“We should get up.” Jensen pushed Jared away; gently enough not to upset him but firmly enough to show he meant business. “William will be wanting his breakfast.”

“Okay.” Jared rubbed at his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows. His hair was sticking up every which way and his cheeks were flushed pink. Jensen found himself in awe of Jared’s beauty, his strength and he risked rubbing a finger across Jared’s high cheek-bones, his finger tracing a path from his nose, to his chin, to his mouth. “Last night was awesome, Jensen.”

“I know.” Jensen wriggled out of bed and into his ratty sweat pants. He could hear Harley sniffing and scratching at the door and he nodded.

“You wanna let the dog out? He needs to go!”

Jared nodded eagerly, distracted and Jensen handed him sweats that only just reached his ankles. Jared opened the door and made a fuss of the dog and then, talking all the time, he let him out into the yard and stood watching him, back straight, head up.

Jensen put on the coffee pot and watched Jared; it was fast becoming his favorite pastime and he wondered if he would ever tire of it. He wondered what might be going through Jared’s head right now and realized that it was a complete mystery to him. He had seen, last night, what Jared was capable of. Not just the sexual side but the other things too, like his hand/eye co-ordination and how good he was with small children and animals. Jared had potential but it was clear that his family had never really explored it, choosing only to wrap him up in cotton wool and take care of him.

He poured out coffee, making sure that Jared’s was milky and sweet. Jared let Harley back into the house and gave him some water, then he sat at the breakfast bar, half naked and drinking coffee, temptation on legs and Jensen knew he had to get Jared showered and dressed before he did something he would enjoy but regret.

William woke up about half an hour later by which time Jared was dressed and eating toast, making crumbs and smothering way too much jam on his toast. Jensen bathed his son while Jared cleaned away the dishes and then they settled to watch some sport on TV. Jensen had forgotten what it was like to have someone else in the house with him, someone other than William and he realized he liked it. When he finally had to take Jared home they were all pretty disappointed and William whined all the way, pleading with his dad to let Jared stay with them.

It was only as he opened the passenger door to let Jared out and saw Sherri anxiously watching from the window that Jensen got a little nervous. He suddenly realized that Jared had a runaway mouth and that he liked to share his experiences. He was sure that Sherri would want to hear about the carnival but he was also sure he didn’t want her to hear about anything else. He got out of the car to walk Jared to his door and – when they were out of William’s earshot – he broached the subject.

“Jared.” He put a hand on the younger man’s arm and was rewarded by a white, innocent smile. “You know what we did last night – is – um – you know . . . .”

“I’m not a baby, Jensen.” Clear hazel eyes met his and Jensen’s breath caught in his throat. “I can tell momma about the carnival but I won’t tell her anything else. It is secret – our secret. I know that Meggie kisses her boyfriend and I know that Jeff does that too. I guess even momma and daddy did it because they had us – but it isn’t to talk about – I know that.”

“Oh, Jared.” Jensen’s heart clenched and his stomach fluttered. He knew he was hopelessly in love, hopelessly snared and he wanted so much to be with Jared all the time, to help him, to have him close, to see all the wonderful things in the world through Jared’s eyes. “I-I can’t wait to see you again.”

“You have to work I know that but next weekend? We can be together then.”

“Of course, baby, we can be together.”

“Momma might let me stay at your house again.” Jared’s eyes were bright. “Daddy is working away for the next few weeks so you won’t have to see HIM again.”

Jensen swallowed, somehow relieved by that revelation. He put his hands on Jared’s shoulders and bent over, kissing him quickly on the lips, watching Sherri’s reaction and relieved that she only smiled and waved, moving to let Jared in the house.

“I’ll call,” he promised as Jared turned to go.

“I know you will.” Jared waved, fingers wriggling. “I love you, Jensen.”

“Yeah, Jared.” Jensen’s eyes stung and he gulped down the lump in his throat. “I love you too.”

****

Work was hard over the next few days and he barely had time to think. He would go home and flop down with William, talk about school and get his little boy to bed before they both fell asleep on the sofa. He called Jared every day though and listened whilst the other man talked excitedly down the phone. Jared talked about Sadie and how he was training her, how she could ‘shake paws’ now and how she walked without a lead. He talked about the carnival and how much he had loved it and – in low whispers – he would talk about what they did that night and how much he wanted to do it again.

Jensen was exhausted by Friday but he wanted to see Jared so badly that he had a quick shower, took William to his mom for babysitting duties and then hit the road. He was hoping that Sherri would let him take Jared for the weekend; that they could maybe go to the beach together. He wanted so much for things to be right and he was so excited at seeing Jared again. There was still so much to do, so much to work out before their relationship could move on but he was patient and prepared to wait and he pulled up to Jared’s doorstep with hope in his heart.

All the lights were blazing and an ambulance was outside the door; panic hit him in the gut as he leapt out of the car and ran for the house. Jared’s sister was the first person he saw and she looked at him with tear-filled eyes, relief to see another human being but panic clear in those familiar hazel depths.

“My daddy came home tonight unexpectedly,” she said to him without so much of an introduction. “My momma hadn't been feeling well and he came home because he was worried. He found her body in the bathroom earlier - she . . . .” Tears spilled over her lashes. "There was nothing anyone could do."

“Jared?” Jensen’s hands were shaking.

“He is really upset. The EMT’s have to take the body. Can you – Jensen – will you take him home with you? You are the only person he trusts other than momma. The whole house – the whole family is in chaos.”

“Of course.” Jensen gulped down the tightness in his throat. “Where is he?”

“In his room. I’ve packed his things as I knew you were coming. He loves you Jensen – he needs you – just take care of him.”

“Of course,” he replied and then without thought he made for the house and for Jared.


	12. Chapter 12

Jared is sobbing; big, harsh sobs that rack his body and appear to make the whole car shake.

Jensen is driving as fast as he can without getting a ticket. He wants – no needs – to get home so that he can get his arms around Jared, so that he can give him the comfort that he so badly needs.

Even if he lives to be a hundred Jensen will never forget rushing into the house and finding Jared hunched in his room refusing to come out and asking, constantly, for his momma. Jensen had barged past the medics and grabbed Jared by the arm, the younger man looking straight up at him and moaning, reaching out and hugging Jensen close, tears smearing down his cheeks and sticking his hair to his face.

Jensen had managed to get Jared on his feet and into his car and now they were heading home. He had rung his momma and asked if she would keep William for the night and he had managed to stop long enough at Jared’s to get Sadie, her food, her bed and her leash. He felt sure Jared would feel better if he had something familiar near him and Jared loved Sadie without question.

Jensen had only seen Gerald briefly but he was sure he would be seeing him soon enough. He knew that Gerald didn’t approve of their relationship and now Sherri was – gone – he knew that things were about to get even harder. Jensen felt a lump constrict his own throat. He had been very fond of Jared’s momma and he couldn’t quite believe that she was dead and he knew that – for now – he was the only comfort Jared had.

As soon as they pulled up into the drive Jensen killed the engine and Jared almost flopped into his open arms, wet face pressed against his neck, arms wrapped so tight around him he was having trouble breathing. He held Jared, stroking his free hand through Jared’s hair, the other rubbing up and down his back. Jared was sobbing uncontrollably now and Jensen realized he hadn’t said a word since they had left Jared’s house.

“Hey,” Jensen spoke as softly as he could. “Hey baby, lets get you inside okay? I’ll make you some tea – hot and sweet, Jared. Then we can go up to my room and cuddle on the bed, it will be better there.”

“I want my momma,” Jared sounded so vulnerable and child-like that it made Jensen’s stomach lurch. He hoped and prayed that this would not set Jared back: that together they could get beyond this, that he could help Jared, help him mourn his momma.

“I know Jared,” he spoke firmly but gently. “I know. I’m here for you Jared. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“She – they said that she . . . .” Jared swallowed hard and red tear-stained eyes gazed into Jensen’s. “I loved her Jensen. Why did she have to die?”

Jensen felt an unexpected stab of relief. He wasn’t sure that Jared understood the concept of death in the same way and he felt guilty at – once again – underestimating him.

“I don’t know baby but she wouldn’t want you to be so unhappy.” He swallowed down the pain in his throat for the second time and held Jared closer, tighter. “Lets go inside. Sadie will need feeding and Harley will eat you if I don’t get kibble into him soon.” Jensen gripped the back of Jared’s neck and brushed a kiss across his cheek, tasting salt, feeling how hot and hectic it was.

“Thanks. . . .” Jared pulled away and wiped at his face, a tiny, tentative smile there, tears still trickling across high-cheekbones. “For being there for me, Jensen. I was so scared when they found momma. She – I’ll never see her again, will I?”

“No Jared but she knew you loved her and she was so proud of you. She talked about you a lot Jared and there was no doubt that she loved you so much.”

“Oh Jensen.” Jared crumbled again, his hands covering his face as he began to sob. “You won’t go will you?”

“No Jared. I’ll never leave you, Jared. I swear. We are a couple now – a matching pair and I will never, ever let you down.”

Jared sniffed and made a conscious effort to pull his hands from his face. He took a deep breath and got out of the car.

“We should feed Sadie,” he said, and for now, it was enough.

****

The dogs were settled; Sadie laying across Harley’s huge back, the two of them snuggled together like a blanket of fur.

Jensen lay on his bed with Jared in his arms; they were both in t-shirts and boxers and the comforter was over them, the radiator churning away making the room cozy and warm. Jared was silent but Jensen could tell by the tremors in his body that he was still crying and he wanted to wipe away Jared’s pain, wishing he could do more, say more, to make him feel better.

“What am I going to do Jensen?” Jared’s voice was small and it was hard to believe that someone so huge could be so vulnerable. “My momma took care of me.”

“I know she did, baby.” Jensen tightened his grip and pulled Jared closer, his head resting on Jared’s hair, “I know she did – but Megan – Megan has asked me to take care of you for now. Do you – would you like that?”

Jared was so quiet that Jensen was concerned; he listened to Jared’s hitched breathing, his labored puffs in and out and he dragged his hand across Jared’s shoulder, dropping a kiss on his forehead.

“Can I stay with you?” Jared whispered, finally. “I want to stay here with you and William.”

Jensen had known that this question was going to come up sooner rather than later and he knew what he wanted to answer to be. As far as he was concerned Jared could stay here forever but he was pretty sure that Gerald – his legal guardian – was going to have a say in the matter.

“You can stay baby,” he replied, hating the fact that this might be a lie but wanting to give Jared what comfort he could. “You can stay with me for as long as you want.”

“I – please,” Jared sounded tired, worn down and Jensen could hear the hesitancy in his voice. “Would you touch me Jensen? I want you to touch me – it makes me feel good, make me feel better.”

At that moment in time it was probably the worse thing he could do but Jensen couldn’t and wouldn’t say no to Jared. Jared needed and wanted this and he didn’t care if it damned him. He moved his hand gently and laid it on the front of Jared’s boxers. Jared was hard and he moved restlessly into Jensen’s grasp, a little whimper escaping him.

“I know that everyone thinks I am a baby,” Jared whispered. “But I’m not, I’m really not. I know what I want Jensen – my momma knew it too – she knew I wanted you and – and she would be happy that I am with you.”

“You’re not a baby Jared, you are a man and you are my man.” Jensen moved his hand slowly, softly, treating Jared as if he were a delicate object, loving him, worshiping him. Jared moaned through gritted teeth and thrust into Jensen’s grasp, coming fast and wetly, his body vibrating until the spasms passed, going limp beside Jensen, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder, his steady breathing telling Jensen he was – finally – asleep.

Jensen lay holding him and made a vow right there and then that he would do everything in his power to keep Jared with him. That they would have a life together, that he would give Jared everything he wanted and needed, that he would give Jared a future.

And he would do it all with love.


	13. Chapter 13

The day of Sherri’s funeral was dull and depressing; rain fell heavily from the leaden sky and Jensen could only hope that it would all be over soon.

Jared watched the coffin being lowered into the earth; he knew what was happening and it made him ache so badly that he couldn’t bear it, the pain in his throat hot and uncomfortable, burning him.

Jensen stood beside him, his arm tight around Jared’s shoulder. Jensen was warm and made Jared feel better, not so cold, leaching heat from Jensen, taking all the comfort and love that Jensen was offering him.

“Okay?” Jensen’s breath was warm against his ear and he leaned into Jensen’s embrace, his tears soaking into Jensen’s dark coat.

“I – yeah.” He wasn’t okay, not really, but he could hear the caring in Jensen’s voice, feel the trembles in Jensen’s arm. Jensen had liked his momma too and Jared was grateful, more than grateful, that Jensen was here.

He could see Meggie sobbing into her boyfriend’s shoulder, see Jeff hugging his wife tight. His daddy wasn’t crying though, his daddy was wrapped in his black coat, his face tight, no tears on his pale cheeks. His eyes slid over to rest on Jared and Jared felt himself grow colder despite all his efforts, his mouth dry.

“Don’t worry,” Jensen’s voice again, gentle. “I’ll make sure nothing happens to you Jared. Whatever happens today you are gonna come home with me.”

Jared rubbed his head against Jensen’s shoulder and stared back at his daddy with what he hoped was defiance in his eyes. Jensen hugged him again, reassurance in his grip and Jared moved closer wanting that reassurance, wanting to be as close to Jensen as he could be.

****

The family were holding a quiet get together in their house. Apart from Jared’s siblings and their partners, Jensen didn’t recognize any of the other people and he assumed they were friends of the Padalecki’s. He kept close to Jared who was still on edge and tearful and he let the younger man cling to him when needed, aware of Gerald’s piercing gaze on him making him feel concerned and worried for both of them.

Jared looked exhausted so Jensen took him to his room to lie down for a while before he took him back home. His mom had William again and Jensen needed to get back to his son. He sat with Jared for a while until the younger man fell into a restless sleep and then he went downstairs to grab a coffee and maybe a sandwich, hoping to avoid any confrontation with Gerald.

“Ah, Dr Ackles,” the smooth voice in his ear made him wince and he turned, feeling the color drain from his face. He hadn’t wanted this and he glanced back at the closed door of Jared’s room wondering if he had done the right thing.

“Mr Padalecki, I’m sorry – sorry for your loss.”

“Yes, I can see how sorry you are.” Gerald smiled but the smile did not meet his eyes. His mouth was tight and there was something about his expression that Jensen didn’t like.

“Mr Padalecki, whatever you think I only have Jared’s best interests at heart.”

“This is my wife’s funeral, Dr Ackles and I am not upsetting my family on this day but be warned . . . I will not continue to allow this tawdry affair. This is my son and he belongs in my care.”

“Mr Padalecki. . . .”

“You do realize I could prosecute you, don’t you? Jared is technically a minor and under my care. He may think he is able to give his consent but we both know on what side the judge’s gavel would fall, don’t we?”

“Sir.” Jensen’s throat closed and his neck grew hot, cheeks flushing pink. “You have to realize that I love . . . .”

“You may or may not be telling the truth Dr Ackles but the bottom line is that I am prepared for you to take care of Jared until we have sorted out all of this stuff with Sherri but after that I will be coming to get him and bring him home and if you try to stop me you will find yourself on the end of a lawsuit that you cannot win.”

Jensen swallowed hard; the man had power and money behind him and Jensen had nothing but his son and a huge dog. He wondered what he should do and he leant back against the wall, head thumping, heart aching so much he was sure it was breaking.

****

Jared looked stunned as Jensen half carried him down the stairs; he wanted to get out of the house now, wanted to be away from here as quickly as he could. If he hadn’t a son and a job to consider he would have bundled Jared into his car and just driven until they were far, far from Gerald Padalecki but Jensen had responsibilities and he had to face them, had to face whatever was going to be thrown at him. The only thing he couldn’t face was losing Jared.

The house seemed quiet and to his relief there was no sign of Gerald. He was half way out of the door when Megan caught his arm.

She looked pale and wan, her dark hair a curtain around her white face and she hugged him impulsively.

“Don’t listen to dad,” she whispered. “You have to keep Jared with you. He loves and needs you, Jensen.”

“I – if Gerald is his legal guardian there is nothing I can do Megan. He holds all the cards.”

“Here.” Megan thrust a small business card at Jensen. “His name is Misha and he is an excellent lawyer. He will help you through this. This isn’t just dad’s show, you know. We have to think of Jared and what he wants.”

Jared was leaning against the wall, eyes half mast; he stared down at his sister, his eyes dull, face swollen from crying.

“I want Jensen, Meggie,” he whispered. “I want Jensen.”

“I know you do, Jay.” Megan let go of Jensen to hug her brother. “We are gonna make sure that you stay with him. Okay?”

“You shouldn’t promise him anything.” Jensen’s throat hurt and his eyes were stinging. “I can’t afford a fancy lawyer, Megan. I can’t take on the might of your dad.”

“Look Jensen,” Megan lowered her voice, her eyes on Jared, hand gently on his arm. “Misha hates my dad. They have had several run ins in court and – well – he would do this for nothing if he thinks he is gonna get one over on Gerald Padalecki.”

“We are talking about Jared’s future.” Jensen swiped angrily at tears. “Not about some – some personal squabble.”

“I know.” Megan shook her head; beside her Jared had started to cry quietly again, his hands reaching for Jensen, fear in his eyes. “Please Jensen, at least give him a call.”

Jensen nodded; he took Jared’s hands in his and led him out of the house into the car. At that moment he couldn’t wait to put distance between him and the Padalecki’s and his only worry was Jared and what this might do to him.

****

It was early Saturday morning and both William and Jared were sleeping, as were the dogs. Jensen got up and quietly fed the fish before taking his cell and going to sit on the back porch. He held Misha’s card in his hand and stared at it for a long time before punching in the number, half hoping that the other man would not answer the phone.

****

“I’ve been expecting you to call,” Misha’s voice was way too upbeat for such an early hour and Jensen swallowed, mouth dry, his tongue sticking to the roof of it. “Megan told me she had given you my card.”

“Can you help me?” Apart from telling the other man his name, Jensen realized that there wasn’t much that Misha didn’t know. Megan had obviously filled him in.

“Yes,” Misha replied. “But not over the phone. We should meet, you, me and Jared and then we can discuss our plans.”

“Jared?” Jensen wasn’t sure that that was a wise idea and his stomach clenched at the thought of it.

“Yes. I need to know what sort of person he is, I need to know if he will cope with all of this and I have to warn you this won’t be easy.”

“I can’t let his dad take him away,” Jensen said, fear coloring his voice. “I just can’t.”

“You really do love him don’t you, Jensen?” Misha’s statement was non-judgmental, simple fact.

“More than anything,” Jensen replied.

“And you will fight for him?” Misha sounded hopeful.

“With my life,” Jensen answered.


	14. Chapter 14

Jared got into the car and sat silently beside Jensen.

He felt nervous inside, his stomach jumping up and down, churning, making strange little noises. He knew that they were going to meet someone who would help them stay together and he knew that it was important so he wanted to be on his best behavior, wanted everything to be right.

He stared out of the window; he knew they were going to a smart restaurant. He had on the black suit that Jensen had bought him for the funeral and he hated it. It made him feel stiff and uncomfortable, made him fidget a little, the shirt scratchy around his neck. Jensen was wearing a blue pin striped suit and he looked handsome but then he always did and Jared’s stomach grew hot as he stared at Jensen, eyes wide and bright.

“You okay?” Jensen’s voice was kind and he tried to stop wriggling. He knew it made him look silly and he didn’t want to look silly. He wanted to be a big boy for Jensen, he wanted to be the man that Jensen wanted him to be and he was determined to try.

“Scared.” His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“You won’t let me down, baby.” Jensen put his hand on Jared’s thigh and the feel of it, heavy and warm made him feel better.

“I don’t want to go home to daddy.” He was aware of how vulnerable and afraid he sounded and he felt ashamed, his cheeks burning. “I want to stay with you.”

“I know you do.” Jensen slid a look at him and Jared could see the love in his eyes. “I want you to stay too Jared.”

“Will this man be able to help us?”

“I hope so Jared, I really hope so.”

“I’m not stupid Jensen, I know what I want.” Jared’s eyes stung and he knew he was close to crying. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles and stared out at the houses rushing by. “And I know that I want you.”

****

Jensen pulled the car to a halt outside of the restaurant and Jared fell silent. He got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk, eyes downcast. He knew that they were gonna have to go inside soon and that they were gonna have to meet this guy who was going to help them and he was petrified.

“It’ll be okay Jared.” Jensen dropped a kiss on his forehead and Jared turned to smile at him, unsure and worried. “It’ll be okay.”

****

Misha is small and broad with black hair and piercing blue eyes; Jared can feel those eyes on him as they enter the restaurant and he swallows the dryness in his throat away, taking Misha’s offered hand and shaking it hoping that Misha doesn’t feel how warm and damp his palm is.

He is used to being looked at; he tries really hard but he knows that people can tell he is different. He knows he keeps his mouth open longer than he should, that he can’t always find the right words, he knows that he fidgets and bounces too much and that his expression is sometimes wrong, that he is smiling when he should be serious, that his eyes are overly bright. He has watched Jensen a lot, tried to be more like him and he hoped that it was working. As Misha observes him, head to one side, he thinks that maybe it isn’t.

“So Jared. . . .” Misha gestures that they sit and Jensen holds out his chair for him like he was a girl. “How are you?”

“Okay.” Jared sat down and stared at the carefully laid out knives and forks, the pristine white napkins and the sparkling glasses. “Thank you for asking.”

There is a smile playing around the side of Misha’s wide mouth and Jared wonders if the other man finds him funny. Beside him Jensen sits down and, under the cover of the table cloth, he puts his hand on Jared’s knee, warm and gentle, grounding Jared, making him feel better.

“You know why we are here.” Misha isn’t asking him a question but he nods anyway. His throat hurts and he wants to ask for a soda but he cannot find the words. Jensen is silent but his very presence is a comfort in itself and Jared puts his own free hand over Jensen’s, his fingers tangling with the other mans.

“How do you feel about going back to your dads?” Misha asks, slowly, as if Jared might not understand him.

“I don’t want to,” Jared finds his voice. “I-I want to stay with Jensen and William.”

“Indeed.” Misha takes out a book and makes some notes in it. “You know that your dad wants you to go back, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Jared’s heart pounds hard in his chest and his stomach hurts. “But I won’t go.”

“They will try and make you go.”

“Then Ill run away.” Jared wipes at his eyes not wanting the other man to see that he is crying. Babies cry and he isn’t a baby and he has to prove this to Misha, to Jensen, and to his daddy.

“No.” Misha shakes his head. “For now you can stay with Jensen. Your brother and your sister have signed some papers and it means that you can stay with Jensen for the time being.”

Jared can’t stop the smile from spreading across his face and, beneath the table, Jensen squeezes his hand hard and returns the smile.

“You will have to have a lot of tests, Jared.” Misha is still talking. “You will have to answer a lot of questions, do you think you can do that?”

Jared bites his lip until it hurts: he has had a lot of tests in the past, he has seen so many doctors and specialists, all prodding and poking him and asking him so many things. He hated it and sometimes the tests hurt but if it means he can stay with Jensen he will do it, he has to.

“Yeah.” He nods. “For Jensen, yeah.”

“Good.” Misha smiles again and closes his book. “I think I have all I need for now Jensen. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can talk some more.” He turns to Jared and his eyes are considering but kind. “It’s been great to meet you Jared, I hope we meet again soon.”

****

Jensen could see that Jared was exhausted; William kept jumping on him and asking him to play but Jared’s eyelids were drooping and he looked as if he was going to fall asleep on his feet. Jensen decided that it should be an early night for all of them and – one by one – he got the dogs, William and, finally, Jared settled.

He lay down beside the younger man and turned out the light; Jared gave a little sniffle and rolled over, nuzzling at Jensen’s neck, his mouth gentle and tender. Jensen hugged Jared closer and stroked his hair, his mind wandering, thinking back to today and hoping that it had gone well, hoping that Misha decided to take the case on, hoping that the lawyer would have a solution to all of this.

Jensen figured they had been lucky so far; it had turned out that Sherri had been Jared’s legal guardian with no real provision for him after her death. Jensen thought that this was due to the fact that Sherri didn’t think she would die so soon, that maybe she was hoping Jared would find someone to care for him, that Jared wouldn’t always be trapped at home. The second reason was harder to take and that was the thought that Sherri assumed her husband would take up the mantle of Jared’s guardian. Jensen was pleased and relieved that Jared’s siblings had been as against this idea as Jared was and had signed papers to let Jared go where he pleased until after a judge had decided what to do with him. It was horrible, Jared was nearly twenty-nine years old and he did not have a say in his own future. Jensen knew that Jared was aware of that and he knew that Jared only wanted to stay with him and with William. Jensen wanted that too. He loved Jared, loved him so much and he would do anything to keep him here and make him part of his small family.

“Did I do good today?” Jared’s voice, soft and slurred, was close to his ear, Jared’s hand resting on the jutting bone of his hip.

“Yeah baby, you did so well.”

“Are you proud of me Jensen?” Jared was sliding into sleep and Jensen wanted to send him there with sweet dreams.

“So proud, Jared. I love you so much and I can’t – I won’t live without you.”

Jared sighed then and Jensen heard the contentment and happiness in that sigh. He cuddled closer and closed his own eyes. He would face the world again in the morning but for now he was content to be with Jared in their own little world, their own little bubble and he could only hope and pray that things would never change and he would be able to keep the love of his life close by forever.


	15. Chapter 15

Jensen answers his cell; it is quiet, early in the day and no one but him is awake. He takes it into the kitchen and sets the pot on to boil, his voice low as he talks to Misha in whispers.

“Well?” He cannot help but be impatient, he wants – no needs – to know how yesterday went and he can hear his own heart beating as he waits for Misha’s reply.

“He is unusual isn’t he?” Misha sounded matter of fact and Jensen bit his lip, drawing a breath.

“What do you mean?”

“I have dealt with cases like this before, with people like Jared who have tried to break out and be independent. It doesn’t always go well Jensen, there are so many limitations, so many problems standing in their way but Jared – Jared knows his limitations, he knows that there is something wrong with him and it clearly frustrates him. I get the feeling that if he is allowed to spread his wings a little he will constantly improve.”

“Really,” the words come out on an exhale of breath that Jensen didn’t even know he was holding. “You really think that?”

“There is something about him; something sweet and innocent but there is something steely about him too, about his determination,” Misha’s voice was gentle. “His mom and dad have wrapped him up in cotton wool I guess and he is only just beginning to break free.”

“Do you think we have a chance? You know, against Jared’s dad?”

“Yes, but that is what I need to talk to you about.”

“Sounds ominous.” Jensen moved his tongue around dry lips.

“I don’t think you should apply to be Jared’s legal guardian.”

“What?” Jensen felt hot and confused. “I thought that is what this is all about.”

“You don’t look on Jared in the same way as you do your son do you?” Misha sounded mildly amused and Jensen coughed, spluttering back amazement.

“Of course not.”

“If you apply to be his guardian that is how people will see it,” Misha kept his voice even. “The best way around this is to – is to marry him.”

“I beg your pardon?” Jensen almost fell down and he leant against the breakfast bar, knees weak. “Are you mad?”

“Civil partnership is legal in this part of the state. For you to set up home with him makes more sense that you taking care of him.”

“But, marriage.”

“You love him don’t you?”

“Yes.” There was no point in lying, he could feel his stomach clenching, his heart beating fast and loud. In his mind’s eye he could see Jared, hear his gentle voice, feel his breath against his skin and he gulped down a sudden lump in his throat, his skin tingling, his whole body trembling. “I love him.”

“And he certainly loves you. I suggest that you ask him and that we go to court to secure your union,” Misha’s voice was matter of fact. “It seems like the best way forward, Jensen, and that is what we are looking for right? The best way forward.”

Jensen stood still for a moment, coffee pot boiling dry beside him. His hands were shaking as he bent forward to pull it off the stove but he knew – in his heart – that Misha was right.

“I didn’t even propose to my ex wife,” he mumbled, “and there is William to deal with.”

“I guess he will accept it,” Misha spoke with an authority that Jensen wasn’t sure he had. “Kids are far more accepting than adults.”

“What about Jared?”

“What about him?”

“Do you think that he will?” Jensen felt a stab of guilt. “Do you think he will understand?”

“Of course he will Jensen, he will understand only too well. Ask him. I guarantee that I already know what the answer will be.”

And standing by the sink, head low and stomach churning with anticipation, Jensen already knew the answer too.

****

He tried to set the atmosphere but he felt hot and tense and he wondered, constantly, if he were doing the right thing.

The table was set for dinner and there were candles at the center, flowers in a jug on the cloth and places set as if they were at another smart restaurant. Jensen uncorked a bottle of champagne and hoped he wasn’t being premature. He was more nervous than he had ever been in his life and he remembered his ‘proposal’ to Danneel, something that had consisted of them both coming down after sex and him mentioning that it might be cheaper if they shared a place.

The funny thing was how right Misha had been about William. He had sat his son down and explained, gently and firmly, that – if they prayed hard enough – Jared was going to be coming to live with them for good. That Jared would be daddy’s special friend, a bit like Mom had Chris and that Jared would be sharing a bed with daddy and that Jared would maybe come and pick him up after school and help him do his homework. William stood and stared at him for a long time and Jensen wondered if he had done the right thing. After all William was only five and possibly not ready for gay love or any sort of love for that matter.

Instead William had shrugged and replied with a grin, “Does that mean Sadie will be living here too? Cos I think that Harley is in love with her and they could have puppies.” He put his head to one side and gave Jensen a tentative hug. “And I love Jared too and it would be awesome to have him here all the time. Thanks, daddy.”

With that he had run upstairs to play ‘horse’ with Harley and left Jensen alone with his thoughts, burning ears and churning stomach, his relief and happiness only outweighed by his concern that if Gerald did win it would never, ever happen.

****

“Is this all for me?” Jared was wide eyed with wonder and he stared at the table with a silly smile on his face, dimples and teeth flashing. “Wow Jensen – just wow.”

“Yeah, I’ve ordered our favorite Chinese food but – um – now I have something to ask you.”

Jared’s cheeks flushed pink; he was wearing a black t-shirt that clung to his body and jeans that were baggy on his thighs. Jensen took in a breath and thought – again – how beautiful he was, hands reaching out and stroking down Jared’s smooth cheeks, resting on his broad shoulders.

“That’s nice.” Jared flushed deeper and Jensen saw that there was a noticeable bulge at the front of his jeans. He smiled and shook his head.

“Jared,” he began and he dropped down to one knee looking up at Jared and trying to keep his expression serious. “Jared will you – um – will you do me the honor of – of . . . .” He drew out a small red box and Jared stared at it, comprehension dawning on his red face.

“YES!” He shouted before Jensen even had time to finish. “Oh Jensen – you might have thought I wouldn’t understand but I do, I do and yes – yes – yes – yes.” He dropped to his knees and threw his arms around Jensen, the pair of them falling flat onto the floor, Jared’s mouth on his own and Jared’s broad hand inside his jeans, wrapping around Jensen’s cock and jacking him slowly, panting in Jensen’s ear, “Yes, yes, yes,” constantly.

He wanted to stop, he wanted to tell Jared to take it slowly, he wanted to prolong the moment but his body ruled out his brain and he just lay back and let the pleasure take him. He came fast, all over Jared’s fingers and then – slowly – he returned the favor, waiting until Jared was done and blissed out before reaching for the red box again and pulling out the silver ring to put on Jared’s finger.

“It is just a promise for now,” he whispered, wishing it could be more. “But as soon as we have seen that judge and we have talked to him and told him everything – it will be more. Do you – do you understand Jared?”

Hazel eyes stared at him, wide and serious, Jared’s expression one of complete comprehension, his baring that of a man now and no longer a scared little boy.

“Yes Jensen,” he whispered, “I understand and I can’t wait for that to happen.”

“We are gonna be married,” Jensen breathed and Jared laughed and held him so tight he could barely breath.

“We are gonna be married,” Jared repeated.


	16. Chapter 16

The next few weeks are bliss and Jensen never wants them to end.

They are left alone to ‘celebrate’ their engagement and, apart from Misha and William, no one knows about them and Jensen intends to keep it that way for as long as he can.

Jared is so happy it almost vibrates from him with every movement and Jensen can see the improvement in him, sees that he is really trying, that he is reading more, spending time with William and his picture books, helping him with simple maths and spelling. They have fallen into domesticity with ease and Jensen can’t help but wonder how it happened. When he is at work Jared stays at home and looks after the dogs. After a while Jensen lets Jared go and pick William up from school and it is clear that both William and Jared thrive on the company.

Jared keeps asking Jensen about getting a job; he is clearly frustrated and he seems to hate living off Jensen, wanting to be an equal part of their ‘partnership’. Jensen wants to help Jared but he isn’t sure what he is going to do. Jared has no experience in anything; he is twenty-eight years old and – by his own admission – has never been out of the city let alone the state. Jensen lays awake at night with Jared in his arms trying to think of something that Jared could do. He is convinced that it would help their case if Jared was working but he just cannot imagine what Jared would be able to achieve.

In the end it is Jared who finds himself a job dog walking at a local kennels. The woman – Sam – who owns the kennels is enamored with Jared and – of course – dogs are something that he now has experience of. Jensen gets such pleasure and amusement at watching Jared staggering through the park, big grin on his face, several dogs of various sizes pulling him along. Jensen has never seen anyone look quite so happy and he can’t help but wonder if fate has something nasty in store having been so kind so far.

****

Misha was dressed in a somber suit and carried a large briefcase under his arm. His expression was serious and Jensen felt nauseous, his stomach plummeting.

“We have a court date,” Misha said, quietly. “Gerald isn’t letting Jared go without a fight.”

Jared jolted and turned; frightened eyes on Jensen’s face.

“I don’t want to live with daddy,” he said, starkly. “I want to stay here.” He smiled at Jensen hopefully. “Why can’t we just get married now?”

“Because your daddy wants us to go to the courts I guess.” Jensen wanted to keep it simple and easy to understand. “At the moment he thinks . . . he thinks you aren’t able to look after yourself, but he’s wrong.”

Jared nodded; he turned to Misha with a small, shy smile.

“I have a job now,” he said. “I work all week and sometimes on a Saturday but I still get William from school.” His eyes were wide and innocent and Jensen just wanted to love and protect him. “I am engaged too,” he shot out his hand to show Misha the simple silver ring, his cheeks coloring. “we are gonna be married as soon as we get the judge to say so.”

“It isn’t going to be easy Jared,” Misha said, business-like again. “There will be lots of questions and lots of tests.”

“I don’t care,” Jared lifted his chin and stared at Misha with some defiance. “I’m going to beat my daddy and I don’t care what it takes.”

Misha smiled and Jensen looked proud. Jared stared at them both and then he grinned.

“I’m getting there aren’t I?” He said, finally and Jensen – oblivious of Misha – kissed him hard.

“Yeah baby you are.”

****

As the court case grew closer Jared grew quieter and Jensen couldn’t do anything to help him. Jared wasn’t sleeping too well and he was having nightmares. One night Jensen got up to find that Jared had wet the bed. The younger man was mortified and crying and Jensen hoped that this wasn’t going to set Jared back. They had come through so much together and had managed to climb every obstacle put in their way. Jensen knew that Jared was nervous about the medical tests and he couldn’t really blame him. It would mean several nights in hospital and then – right after – the court case. As he cleaned up Jared and changed the sheets he kept a slow and gentle commentary up, talking to Jared, comforting him.

“I’m so sorry.” Jared slipped out of his sweat pants and t-shirt and stood naked and shivering. Jensen shook his head and gestured towards the shower.

“Don’t worry about it,” he whispered, “everyone has accidents.”

“No, they don’t. You don’t, even William doesn’t.” Jared lowered his eyes, tears reflecting on his lashes. “I’m still a baby and I don’t deserve to be here with you.”

“Don’t.” Jensen shook Jared’s shoulders hard. “Don’t you ever say that. I love you Jared. I love every part of you and I love you faults and all. I’m not perfect, you know. I swear too much at work and I can be real grumpy at times. I’ve been on my best behavior around you but be warned if we are gonna spent the rest of our lives together you are gonna see a different side of me.”

“Really?” Jared was still trembling but his eyes were brighter.

“Yeah, really. Now, I’ve changed the bed so let’s have a quick shower and get some sleep. You need to be fit and well for the doctors don’t you.”

“We can shower together?” Now there was a hint of mischief in Jared’s eyes, a slight smile on his mouth.

“I don’t know if it is big enough.” Jensen grinned. “But we can try.”

“Can we – um – do the nice thing again?”

Jensen sighed; he looked at the stained sheets and the newly made bed. Life with Jared wasn’t going to be easy but he didn’t care. He loved Jared too much to turn back now, loved him too much to let him go.

“Yeah, Jared.” He grinned wider and put his hand on the other man’s shoulders, guiding him into the shower. “We can do the nice thing again.”

“When we are married – can we do it properly?” Jared’s expression told Jensen that the younger man understood what he was saying.

“When we are married we can do it every day.” Jensen embraced him and turned on the water, letting it pour hot and soothing down their backs. “And we can do it properly.”

“Good,” Jared breathed on a sigh. “Because I want that more than anything.”

“Me too,” said Jensen and Jared smiled.

****

Two days later and they were off to the clinic for tests; Misha had booked them into a private institution and Jensen was grateful for that. They had never really talked about fees but Megan and Jeffrey had agreed to help them with the costs, although Misha told him that when they won, and it was always when rather than if, the loser would have to pay all of their costs.

The hospital had agreed that Jensen could stay and he had arranged for William to stay with his mom again. The dogs were with her too which was a comfort and he explained that William had to be patient and that as soon as they had sorted all of this out Jensen would be home permanently and so would Jared.

The drive was pretty long and Jared was silent again, staring out of the window, tears cold on his cheeks. When they arrived at the clinic Jensen got out of the car and got their luggage from the trunk. Neither of them spoke as they walked up the steps but when they reached the top Jared stopped for a minute and took Jensen into his arms. It was an impulsive gesture and Jensen leaned into Jared’s strength, burying his head in Jared’s shoulder.

“It’ll be over soon, won’t it?” Jared asked, voice hoarse with worry and more than a little fear.

“Yes, baby it will.” Jensen buried his head deeper and breathed in Jared’s scent, his soft hair tickling Jensen’s nostrils, his hands gentle on Jensen’s hips.

“We are gonna win,” Jared said and Jensen nodded, praying to God he was right. “We are gonna win.”


	17. Chapter 17

The medical tests are the worst.

Jared is silent and stoic, trying so hard not to break down and cry. The nurse comforts him, holds his hand as she plunges in the needle, strokes his hair as she takes the blood. Jensen is powerless to help really. He can only sit next to Jared, give him constant reassurance and hope that it is all over soon.

They take samples of what seems like everything. There are a multitude of blood tests, urine tests and x-rays. Jared is exhausted by the end of the first day and he isn’t eating. He lies on the bed that they have given him in their private room and stares at the TV. Jensen keeps the station on Disney and they snuggle together and watch cartoons. Jared remains so still, so quiet and it makes Jensen ache inside to think that he is going through all this for Jensen, so that Jensen can have him nearby, forever.

Jared snuffles against Jensen’s neck and Jensen holds him closer, tightening his arms around the younger man and hanging on. He knows when Jared is crying because he feels the wetness seep into his shirt and his own eyes sting and burn as he kisses Jared’s hair and whispers platitudes that are meant to soothe.

Finally, Jared falls silent and still and Jensen realizes that he is asleep. He is sprawled virtually on top of Jensen, a big heavy weight, nose pressed up against his collarbone. Jensen gets an arm around Jared and holds on, the warmth and comfort that Jared somehow gives him sending him into a deep and dreamless sleep.

****

The second day is worse than ever; today they are taking Jared for a CT scan and – as soon as he sees the equipment – Jared goes into meltdown. Jensen can barely control him as he screams and flails, punches flying. It is the first time that Jensen has seen Jared like this, in fact he realizes he has never seen Jared angry or out of control and he wonders if this is common for him, if this is another reason to worry.

In the end they have to sedate Jared and it is horrible; Jensen watches in horror as Jared folds in on himself and collapses. They get him into the scanner and do what they have to do and Jensen can only follow as they wheel Jared back to his room on a gurney and lay him gently on the bed.

When Jared wakes up he looks stunned, cold and stiff. He swallows down the water Jensen gives him and clings to Jensen’s hand tightly.

“I don’t like enclosed spaces,” he says and his speech is slurred. Jensen stares at him in some amazement. He hadn’t realized that Jared was claustrophobic and it answered a lot of questions. “When I was little I got trapped in a cupboard under the stairs. Momma found me and daddy told me I was stupid. I hated it. I hated the darkness and it felt as if I couldn’t breathe but – but it was daddy’s disappointment that hurt the most.”

“Oh, Jared.” Jensen kissed Jared’s forehead. For a moment he wondered if this was the right thing to do. He questioned his motives, questioned whether both of them were strong enough to get through this. Jared stared at him with hooded eyes and he shook his head.

“Don’t give up on me now Jensen,” he whispered and he sounded so like the man that he wanted to be, so like the man they both hoped he would become. Jensen bent down and kissed him hard.

“Never,” he said.

****

The next day was better; the tests were psychological rather than physical and Jensen was relieved on Jared’s behalf. The clinic counselor insisted on seeing Jared alone in her office and Jensen acquiesced, even though he was terrified of what might happen. He waited in the cozy outer room, flicking through magazines with very little enthusiasm or interest and drinking countless cups of coffee. Two hours later, Jared was back with him. The younger man looked pale and exhausted and, although Jensen wanted to know what had been discussed, he didn’t push Jared any further.

Misha called him to find out what had been happening and he spent half an hour on the phone whilst Jared slept. After Misha hung up he realized how tired he felt, how worn down. He suddenly longed for his own bed, missing William and even Harley, just wanting to shower and eat takeout food whilst watching trash TV. He wondered if they would ever have their ‘normal’, if they would ever be left alone to live and love in peace. He glanced down at Jared who appeared to be sleeping peacefully and he sighed. At that moment he hated Gerald Padalecki and he couldn’t wait to beat his ass in court.

****

Jared felt sore all over; his arm hurt and there were bruises in the skin from where the needles had taken out his blood. He was still having nightmares about the scanner and he felt constantly tired. He liked to lie on the sofa with Sadie on his feet and William in front of him. Today, they were watching ‘UP’ which was one of Jared’s favorites. He loved Doug the dog and Doug always made him laugh even today when he was almost too exhausted to care.

Jensen was making them something special for dinner and it smelt delicious. Jared’s stomach growled and he realized how hungry he was. His eyelids were drooping and he could feel himself drifting in and out of sleep. He remembered all the things the nice lady at the clinic had asked him, hoped he had given her the answers she had wanted. He couldn’t stop telling her how much he loved Jensen and she had asked him if Jensen did things to him that he didn’t like. He had shaken his head and grabbed her hand trying to convey how wrong she was. He did do things with Jensen but he wanted to do them, he wanted to do them so much and he hoped she had understood what he was saying to him.

He forced open his eyes so that he could stare at his silver ring; he wanted to marry Jensen. He wanted to live here with Jensen and share his life. He wanted to carry on working and he wanted to look after Sadie and Harley. He wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t a baby and he wanted the nice lady to understand that. He hoped that she did and that the tests he had taken showed that his brain was getting better, that it wasn’t so bad anymore. He wanted to be normal – oh how he wanted to be normal – and he wanted it so badly it hurt deep inside his stomach, made him ache with longing.

****

“When will we get the test results?” Jensen sat opposite Misha in his big office downtown. The court case was in one week and Jensen wanted to be ready for whatever Gerald might throw at him.

“In the next day or two.” Misha scribbled something down on his ever present pad. “How do you think they went?”

“I can’t comment on the medical ones and – and I wasn’t allowed anywhere near him for the counselor session. He hasn’t said much – in fact he has been too quiet since the clinic. This thing is taking its toll on him and I feel like I’m to blame.”

“His dad is the one to blame for making us have to do this.” Misha closed his pad with a snap. “If he just admitted to himself that Jared is a capable human being then we wouldn’t have to do it.”

“I’m terrified,” Jensen muttered and Misha shook his head.

“Don’t be,” he said, confidently. “I’d bet my reputation on the fact that it will be you who is taking Jared home.”

“But what if we lose?” Jensen swallowed back bile. “What then?”

“I don’t know,” Misha said, honestly and he rubbed his temple tiredly. “I just don’t know.”


	18. Chapter 18

The courtroom was small and modern; Gerald paying enough money for them to have a private hearing.

There was just the family, the two lawyers – Misha and a smart suited gray haired man who must have been Gerald’s counselor.

Jensen nodded, briefly, to Jeff and Megan as they entered the room. He sat at the front with Jared beside him, the younger man shaking with nerves, his hand wrapped tightly around Jensen’s, damp and sweaty, his face as white as milk.

The medical tests had come through but to Jensen’s horror, worry and disappointment they were not allowed to view them or to see the results. These would all be discussed in court they were told and despite all of Misha’s hard work their attempts to find anything out were blocked at every turn.

Jensen understood that Jared was scared. Jared wouldn’t even look at his dad and only spared a brief, quick smile for his sister and brother. There were tears in his eyes and he kept them low, staring at the floor. Every now and again Jensen saw him glance at his ring and touch it reverently. Jensen wondered – again – what they would do if the judge ruled against them, wondered if he could just take Jared and run, run away from all this madness.

****

The judge looked stern; he was an older man with cold blue eyes and an impassive expression. Jensen swallowed down his fear and doubts not wanting Jared to realize how worried and anxious he was. The last thing he wanted was for Jared to freak out or do something that both of them would regret. He loved Jared and he trusted him but this was a different situation and it was important that they both kept their heads.

The judge stood up. He explained, in a deep, expressionless voice, that he would listen to what the lawyers had to say, that he would keep an open mind and that he would make a decision based on what he thought would be the best way forward for Jared. He explained that both lawyers would make opening statements and that he would then question Gerald, Jensen and – of course – Jared himself. He also said that they would discuss the medical reports when necessary and that he would allow the lawyers to view them before that.

He sat down then and nodded to Gerald’s lawyer. “Mr Alastair,” he said, “you may begin.”

The gray haired man rose to his feet and nodded to Jared’s father and his family.

“I know this is difficult for you all," he said, smoothly. “And I will try and keep this brief and to the point. Mr Padalecki loves his son and only wants what is best for him. He understands, more than others do, his son’s limitations and he realizes that – although his son wants to live a normal life – this can never be possible.”

Jensen shot a look at Jared; the younger man was shaking his head, a single tear threading its way down his cheek. Jared leant over and whispered gently against Jensen’s ear, “I’m not a baby,”

Jensen nodded and put his finger to his lips indicating that Jared should be quiet. He kept his other hand in Jared’s holding it tight, trying to reassure him.

“Jared suffered severe brain damage from his birth accident. So much so that the hospital concerned awarded substantial damages to the Padalecki’s for their trauma and distress.”

Jensen’s mouth was dry; he hadn’t known this and he doubted that Misha did either. He shot a glance at his lawyer but Misha looked calm and undisturbed and Jensen couldn’t help but smile to himself.

“Jared had to be cared for twenty four hours a day when he was growing up. He couldn’t dress himself or even go to the bathroom alone. As he got older he did improve but he still needed a carer. Only recently has he been allowed to be independent. His mother believed that he should be allowed to do more and to learn more but I do not believe that she would have wanted him to ‘learn’ what Mr Ackles has taught him.”

Anger shot through Jensen like wildfire and he was half out of his seat before he felt a gentle hand on his arm. Speckled hazel eyes gazed at him, half in fear, half in dumb appeal and Jensen sat down again feeling Jared’s lips brush against his cheek quick and wet.

“Objection,” Misha’s voice was strident. “I believe that my colleague is making wild assumptions.”

“Mr Alastair.” The judge’s expression did not change. “Try to remember to keep to the facts. I will not be swayed by emotional outbursts.”

“I’m sorry sir.” Mr Alastair lowered his head but there was no humility in his eyes, just a smug knowledge that he had put the thought into the judges head and it might stick there and ruin everything.

The judge nodded. “Continue,” he said.

“Gerald Padalecki believes that Jared would be better, and safer, within his family. He is prepared to hire another carer for his son and perhaps send him to a special school where he can learn enough to get him by.”

Jensen shook his head; Gerald didn’t understand his son at all; he wondered if he had ever really looked at Jared, spoken to Jared recently. Jared was not stupid or dumb, Jared wasn’t in need of a carer, Jared could care – not only for himself – but for William and Sadie too and this had to count for something.

“I think we should now hear from Mr Collins.” The judge gestured to Misha. “And then we should adjourn whilst the lawyers look at the medical results.”

Jensen watched as Misha rose to his feet and his jaw hurt as his teeth ground together, his hands rubbing together nervously, over and over.

“I have spent time with Jared and Jensen,” Misha said, gently. “And there is such a bond between them that it would be inhuman to break it. Jared is perfectly capable of making his own decisions, of choosing his own partner, of living his own life. I believe that Jared’s father has kept him close by deliberately, that Gerald Padalecki wants his son to be misunderstood, wants him to be – let us say – simple.”

“Objection!” Mr Alistair jumped to his feet. “Mr Collins does not know that this is truth.”

“Mr Collins.” The judge shook his head. “As I have said before, I will not listen to emotional outbursts.” He waved his hand, “Continue.”

“Jared voluntarily put himself through medical tests and other ordeals so that he could stay with Jensen. Jared has a job now and has his own earnings. He cares for Jensen’s young son and brings him home from school. These are not the actions of a man who has no control over his life, this does not sound like a man who wants or needs a carer.”

The judge nodded slightly and Jensen’s heart was in his mouth.

“I think we should look at the results of the tests now,” he said, finally. “I think you will find them very interesting.” He stared right at Jensen for a long time and Jensen held his gaze, fear, hope and utter terror throbbing through his veins. “Very interesting,” he repeated and got to his feet, gesturing that Mr Alistair and Misha follow him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains really dodgy legal type things - but please remember that this is fiction and go with it! Ta!

Jensen knows he isn’t allowed in the judges chambers and he feels sick just thinking about what might be going on in there.

Beside him Jared is quiet but calm, still in a way that Jared very rarely is. He nibbles on the cake that Jensen bought him during recess and sips, noisily, at the soda. Gerald and the rest of the family are on the other side of the room. Gerald pointedly ignores Jensen but Megan winks at him and Jeffrey gives him a sad smile. Jared waves at his sister and she smiles gently. Jensen feels a pang of guilt as he thinks how much Jared must miss his mom and the rest of his family even if he is terrified of his dad.

The recess is long; Jensen can’t help but wonder what is going on in the judge’s chambers and what the medical tests have thrown up. He glances at Jared who smiles at him and reaches for his hand.

“Its okay Jensen.” And it is rare and touching that Jared is the one who is offering the comfort and Jensen feels warmed by it. “Soon as this is over we can get married.” Jared grins. “I want that more than anything.”

“I want that too, Jared.” Jensen’s throat is closing and he feels so scared of what lies ahead. If they lose, and they may well do so, he cannot imagine living life without Jared in it and he knows that it will destroy Jared too. He hasn’t thought beyond today, how his life is going to change no matter what the verdict and he stares at his lunch knowing he just isn’t going to eat it.

****

When they are finally called back in Jensen’s legs are weak and his heart is pounding hard and fast. Jared keeps a big hand on the base of his spine and Jensen leans back into it, gaining comfort from the other man’s strength, his courage.

Misha is in his place and he glances up as Jensen and Jared enter. For a moment Jensen tries to read his expression. Misha’s eyes are bright with something but Jensen can’t figure out what it is. He looks hard at the lawyer hoping that he might give him some clue, some idea and to his surprise Misha winks.

Mr Alistair follows the judge in; Jensen takes some small comfort from the fact that Mr Alistair looks angry and irritated. He watches the lawyer exchange glances with Gerald and boy if looks could kill. Jensen swallows and Jared twitches beside him, damp hand coming to rest in his, squeezing tight.

The judge stands; he looks pissed Jensen thinks and he wonders what the hell went on in recess. The judge has some papers in his hand and he gestures to Misha who goes over with something of a smile on his face. Jensen thinks this is a good thing and that this is a good smile but his legs are shaking and his heart is pounding so fast he feels he might pass out.

“I have reached a decision,” the judge says, quietly. “In the end, it was easy but I cannot believe that we had to even come here today, that this was necessary. Mr Padalecki, were you aware of your son’s health at all?”

Gerald looks startled; the judge beckons him over.

“Take the stand,” he says and Gerald does as he is asked, eyes flitting to Jensen who tries to keep his expression unreadable. Gerald looks worried for the first time since Jensen has known him and he feels hope for the first time, real and tangible.

“Mr Padalecki,” the judge asks. “Have you ever taken your son for further tests?”

“He goes for regular medicals, yes,” Gerald tries to sound as confident as ever but Jensen can see his fear.

“But comprehensive tests, like the ones he had before this hearing?” The judge looks pissed again. “Have you ever taken him for those?”

Gerald’s face goes white, red stark across his cheekbones.

“No.” He glances, furtively, at Jared and Jensen feels Jared squeeze his hand so tight he thinks he might lose a finger.

“Mr Padalecki, these tests confirmed that Jared’s brain has recovered considerably since the initial trauma. They also confirm that he is perfectly aware of what is going on, that he wants more from life than what he has and that he is capable of learning and growing. Mr Padalecki, Jared could have led a nearly normal life. I believe from your other children that you stopped Jared attending school and that you insisted that he stayed home with his carer. I also understand that your wife disagreed with you and when you were away on one of your frequent trips she would let Jared go out on his own and let him learn for himself. Mr Padalecki, these tests confirm that you let your son remain innocent of what he could achieve and that you kept a perfectly healthy and more than capable male a virtual prisoner in his own home. Your actions have caused the most damage and that you have deprived your son of a normal life.”

If Jensen could have done anything at that moment it would be cry, laugh or punch Gerald’s once smug face. Jared’s father looked beaten, his eyes downcast, his usual demeanor completely shattered. Jared was looking from his dad to Jensen, speckled hazel eyes blurred with unshed tears as the realization hit him and Jensen could only keep holding on to his hand, tight and warm, soft with reassurance.

“It is my verdict that Jared does not need a legal guardian; that he is free to lead the life he has always wanted and that Jensen is the ideal person to help him lead that life. If Jared chooses to stay in contact with you he may do so but if he does not want to see you then it is within my power to make that happen.”

“I just wanted to protect him,” the protest was feeble and clearly a lie and Jensen had to bite his tongue, glad that the judge put words to what he was feeling.

“I believe you were ashamed of your son; ashamed that he could not follow in the family tradition, that he was not one of your puppets. Jared has shown a great deal of understanding and comprehension. He is a unique and loving young man and I wish him well for the future.”

“Can I go home with Jensen now?” Jared’s voice was loud and strident across the courtroom and the judge, for the first time, smiled.

“Yes Jared. You are a free man, Jared. You choose where you go and what you do.”

“Thank you.” Jared was beaming now, tears running down his cheeks unashamedly. “Thank you so very much.”

“No need to thank me, young man. Go and live your life, learn from this experience and may you have many more experiences far more pleasant than this one.”

Jared took Jensen’s hand again and tugged it gently, the smile on his face so wide it looked as if it might crack.

“Let’s go home,” he whispered and Jensen through his tears smiled back.

****

Misha caught up with them in the corridor and Jensen couldn’t help but hug the man; this was followed up by a clumsy hug from Jared and Misha flushed, a big grin on his face.

“Gerald is paying all the costs.” He smiled. “Including my fees! I have papers here that declare Jared a free agent. You are independent now, my friend.” He slapped Jared’s back warmly. “Good luck to you.”

“Thanks again,” Jared whispered. He looked tired and drained now and Jensen put his arm around Jared’s shoulders, holding him close.

“Yes, thank you Misha. I am so relieved that all I want to do now is to go home, have ice cream with my son and my fiancé and then sleep for days,” he sighed. “This is all so much to take in, I can’t believe what Gerald did to his own son.”

“Do you want to see him, Jared?” Misha spoke softly. “Now or in the future?”

“I’d like him to come to my wedding.” Jared lifted his chin and Jensen was proud of the defiance there. “But if he doesn’t then – then it is his choice.” He yawned and leant into Jensen, heavy and limp. “I want to go home now,” he declared.

“Yeah,” Jensen said and he pulled Jared closer. “Me too.” He nodded to Misha. “Give us a few days and we will celebrate, I swear.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Misha said and he hugged them both briefly again before turning heel and almost dancing down the corridor, unable to hide his joy.

“Sleep?” Said Jensen as Jared gave out another yawn.

“Together?” Jared’s eyes were soft and bright.

“Together,” Jensen replied.


	20. Chapter 20

Jared lies in the bed and tries to sleep.

Jensen is a heavy weight at his side and Sadie is lying across his feet warming them. Down the hall William is napping and he knows that Harley will be keeping him company. Usually Jared doesn’t have a problem sleeping – he sleeps like a baby – or so his momma always said – but now he is wide awake, mind buzzing as it tries to make sense of what happened today.

The judge said he wasn’t stupid or a baby; the judge said his daddy should have taken him for tests years ago, that if he had had those tests then he wouldn’t be – he wouldn’t be treated differently, like a child, he would have been treated like a man.

There is a lump in his throat that is so huge it almost chokes him; he thinks about his daddy and what he did; he thinks he might have gone to school and not needed a carer, might have gotten a proper job, he might have even gone to university. Tears sting and pour down his cheeks. He won’t ever get that time back, he is twenty-eight years old but he might as well be eight and – and if he hadn’t met Jensen – well he doesn’t even want to think about what would have happened to him. He swipes at the tears angrily, thankful that Jensen had faith in him, that Jensen loved him for who he is. One day – he thinks – one day he will repay Jensen for everything he has done.

****

Jensen wakes with a start; Jared is lying on his back and he can tell by the hitch of his breathing, the stifled sobs, that he is crying. Jensen rolls over and puts a hand on Jared’s heart, stroking his chest gently.

“Hey, hey baby – what is it? What’s wrong?”

Stupid question really; he knows why Jared is crying and in the same situation he would be crying too. He can’t imagine what it must be like to learn your own father held you back so much that you couldn’t have a normal life, that people treated you differently, that – mistakenly – they thought you were just a child.

“Jared, don’t cry.” He buried his head against Jared’s soft throat. “Don’t cry – it – I know how bad it is but it is all over now, now we have to look to the future.”

“I’m still stupid,” Jared’s voice was low, small. “I-I can’t even write anything more than my own name. I can’t read anything more than William’s storybook. My daddy hated me that much, was ashamed of me,” he gulped. “You were the only person who ever looked at me, treated me like I was normal. I want to be normal, Jensen, I don’t want to be treated like a child any longer.”

“You won’t be,” Jensen reassured him in a gentle voice. “You won’t be, Jared. The judge has given me the papers – the papers that tell everyone that you are an independent person now, that you don’t need your daddy, that you don’t need anyone, that you can do things for yourself.”

“I need you.” Jared rolled towards him and mouthed at his cheek and chin. “I need you, Jensen.”

“Not as much as I need you, baby.” Jensen stretched up so that they were face to face, nose to nose, ready to kiss.

“You need me?” Jared sounded happier, tears drying.

“Yes, Jared. My life would be so empty without you and I don’t want to lose you, ever.”

“You won’t.” Jared smiled then and Jensen’s heart clenched. “You won’t Jensen, it is my choice now and I choose to stay with you.”

“Jared.” Jensen kissed Jared’s neck, then his chest, tongue lathering around his nipples. He moved lower, mouth on Jared’s sharp hipbones, lower still, biting Jared’s firm thigh and then dropping a gentle kiss on the end of Jared’s erection, licking slow and firm.

“Jensen,” Jared’s breath caught and he grabbed Jensen’s head, fingers digging into his skull, rubbing through soft hair. “Jensen no one has ever . . . ugh.”

Jensen grinned around Jared’s cock and began to suck and lick in earnest. It felt hot, different, now that he was doing it without guilt, now that he knew it was Jared’s choice, that Jared wanted it. He could feel Jared get harder in his mouth, feel his nails scratching at his skull, feel his balls hot and tight beneath his fingers and he moaned himself, the wonder of what he was doing and how much Jared was enjoying it making him as hard as iron himself.

“Oh, oh, oh.” Jared was bucking into his mouth, his hips jerking, his thighs trembling. Jensen tasted salt and heat and knew how close Jared was. He pulled back and took Jared in hand, one, two strokes and Jared was coming, hard and fast, tears smearing his cheeks again, hands loosening in Jensen’s hair. Jensen felt his own release taking him by surprise, coming without a hand on him, the sheer joy of making Jared happy, of making Jared come, enough to send him over the edge and he flopped back on the bed with a sigh, Jared’s head coming to rest on his chest.

“That was – awesome,” Jared sounded wrecked and he yawned, body limp.

“Maybe you can sleep now,” Jensen whispered and Jared laughed, his hands coming to wrap around Jensen’s waist, eyes heavy. There was a long silence and when Jensen looked over again Jared was fast off, eyes closed, lashes thick on his high cheeks. Jensen stroked his hair and found himself grinning wide and happy.

Jared was home, Jared was his and no one was ever, ever going to take him away again.


	21. Chapter 21

“What about school?” Jensen flips the egg onto the plate and turns the bacon. Beside him, William painstakingly pours out orange juice; more going over the work surfaces than actually in the glass.

Jared sits at the table watching them with bright hazel eyes. It is Sunday morning and they are so late up it is almost brunch rather than breakfast and William is still in his pajamas, Jared and Jensen wearing sweatpants, neither of them shaved or even washed.

“I’m too old to go to school.” Jared flashes a quick grin, dimples and everything. “I’m bigger than William.”

Jensen smiles and serves up breakfast; it is nearly a month since the court hearing and they have fallen into a cozy domesticity that he has never had before, even with Danneel. He wants to set a wedding date but he knows he has to tell his parents and he feels obliged to tell Danneel knowing that Jared will be here with them always, that Jared will have a share of William’s time; that Jared is going to be an important part of William’s life.

“No.” Jensen put the plate in front of Jared with a smile. “Not ‘little school’, college. There are loads of courses available in the local community college and you could choose to do anything.”

“But I don’t read very well or write.” Jared looked at his plate, eyes downcast. “How will I . . . I want to but . . . .”

“You can study English and Maths.” Jensen grinned and put another egg on Jared’s plate. “I spoke to Sam and she says you can still do the dog walking part-time. I spoke to Misha too and apparently you are due to get some money, the courts have told your dad that – that he has to give you a portion of the damages they received when you were born. I think – I think it will be a lot of money, Jared.”

“You can have it,” it was a simple statement, sweet and innocent, but purely Jared. “You and William. I don’t want anything from my daddy.”

“Jared.” Jensen sat down with his own breakfast and accepted the sticky glass of orange juice that William gave him. “You might need the money someday.”

“We could . . . .” Jared’s cheeks were pink. “We could buy a house together one day, all of us and we could have a . . . .“ He flushed deeper. “A honeymoon.”

“That would be cool, Jared.” Jensen grinned. “Now, about school. What do you think?”

“I’d – um – I’d like to work with animals.” Jared was feeding pieces of bacon to Sadie under the table and Jensen smiled, not really surprised at Jared’s choice.

“I’m sure they have animal care courses, Jared.” Jensen nudged the younger man with his shoulder. “Why don’t we drive along there tomorrow and have a look?”

“Okay.” Jared risked a small smile. “But I won’t do anything until after we get married. I want to get married now, Jensen. I want . . . .” He lowered his eyes and leant nearer, his voice a mere whisper, “You know,” he said.

“We’ll make a deal.” Jensen knew he was winning now. “You sign up on a college course and we’ll get married two weeks before it starts. How would that be?”

“Awesome.” And Jared just beamed. “It would be awesome.”

****

Jared signed up for a course in Animal Care and he also put his name down to learn Basic English and Maths. It was a triumph for Jensen as he watched Jared sign his name on the bottom of the paper, tongue out, face scrunched up in concentration. He kept his hand on Jared’s shoulder the whole time and the college administrator smiled at them, her eyes warm. Beside them William stood still and silent and Jensen was proud of his son, their son now he mused. He was sure that things were going to be okay but he had the dubious pleasure of telling his mom about Jared and also telling Danneel. He wasn’t sure how any of them would take to the news but he didn’t really care. Together they had managed to overcome the biggest obstacle placed in their way and together they could face anything including disgruntled ex-wives.

****

He waited until William was at school and Jared was working before he went to see his parents. He had booked the wedding for the last Saturday in November, just before Thanksgiving and he wanted it to be a small, intimate ceremony with just his family, Jared’s siblings and William. He thought he might invite Misha too as he had gotten quite fond of the man.

His momma let him in and made him coffee; he smiled wryly as he sat in her cluttered living room and realized how warm it was, how different to Jared’s almost privileged upbringing. He stared at the picture of his mom and dad. They had been married for nearly forty years when his dad had died suddenly and his mom had been disappointed when he and Danneel had split up. Now, he was going to have to tell her about Jared and he wasn’t sure how she was going to take it. She knew they were friends of course, he had spoken about Jared often enough. She had supported him through the court case and through all the problems with Gerald. He wasn’t sure how much she knew or suspected but he felt that honesty was the best policy now and he sat down opposite her, put down his coffee and started his halting explanation.

Jensen’s mom looks at him with some surprise but not the total shock he was expecting.

“Are you sure Jensen?” She asks finally, her coffee cup still hovering close to her lips. “I mean, you aren’t gay are you? And this Jared is the one you helped out, the one you went to court with, isn’t he - .” Her pause tells him everything and he bites his lip, hands shaking as he puts his coffee cup down.

“Yes momma,” he says, “I’m really sure. I know I’m not gay but Jared – Jared is – Jared is . . . .” He doesn’t want to say different or special because he knows that Jared hates those words. Instead, he searches for something that will sum up how he feels, how he isn’t gay but he is so in love with Jared that there is no turning back, no changing his mind. “Jared is just Jared.”

“What about William?” He knows his mom was going to ask him that and he realizes why. His son is the most important person in the world to him and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt or upset him.

“William loves Jared too.” It is a simple answer but the truth. “And we are going to be a family, momma. Please – please say you will support us on this.”

“Oh Jensen.” His momma gets up and hugs him tight. “You are a grown man now, nearly thirty-three years old and quite able to live your own life. As long as you are happy and William is happy I don’t care who you marry. You are clearly in love with the boy and I’ve never seen you like this – not even with Danneel.”

“Thanks.” He grins. “Then you are gonna come to the ceremony? It is only a civil partnership but it is everything to both of us and to have you there would be wonderful.”

“Do you think Jared’s dad will go?” His mom looks serious for a moment.

Jensen shook his head. “I don’t think so but his brother and sister have told me they are coming,” he sighed. “I know how Jared feels about his dad at the moment. The man held him back for year’s, momma, years and now Jared has got the chance to be his own man – you can’t blame him for taking it.”

“No.” His momma looked sad for a moment. “Poor boy, his mom dying and his dad doing that to him, he is lucky to have you.”

“No.” Jensen grinned then and hugged her again. “I am lucky to have him.”

****

Danneel stared at him from under her thick red bangs.

“You are marrying a man? In a civil partnership? Good God Jensen, I never had an inkling that you were gay.”

“I’m not.” He felt his cheeks flush under her scrutiny.

“Apart from the bit where you are marrying a man.”

“Danneel, I don’t need your approval but I would like it.”

“How can I deny you Jensen? You were a good husband and you have been a good dad to William. Maybe – um – maybe Chris and I could come to the ceremony, I would like that.”

“Thanks Danni.” He nodded. “You’d be more than welcome.”

“This guy – the one that has stolen your heart – he must be something pretty special.”

“He is.” He nodded and thought of Jared, a warmth coursing through him, his heart thundering hard in his chest. “He is.”

“Then good luck to you both.” She clasped his hand and he held on to it for a long moment. “Good luck to you both, Jensen. I hope you will be very happy.”

“I’m sure we will be,” he replied and he realized right then, that there had never been any doubt.


	22. Chapter 22

Jensen remembers that when he got married the first time he left all the arrangements to Danneel and her mom and it seemed to be so fluid and so easy.

Now, it is none of those things and he rushes around the house in a panic as he keeps remembering things he hasn’t done. Jared helps, or tries to, but the younger man is so excited that he can’t sleep at night and is exhausted by morning. Jensen goes to work everyday and leaves Jared snoozing. When he gets home at night Jared has picked up William and taken out the dogs and has attempted to cook. Jensen loves it but he spends more than a little of his spare time cleaning up Jared’s ‘cooking’ and, more often than not, they eat takeout.

Jared wants the dogs to come to the wedding and he particularly wants them to be the ring bearers! Jared’s brother has agreed to be the best man and William is an usher. They get measured for suits and Jared can barely keep still long enough for the tailor to take his details down. Jensen finds himself watching Jared fondly realizing that life is never, ever going to be dull again.

Half way through the second week and the wedding is imminent; the suits are hired, the caterers are hired, there are flowers for the bridesmaid (Megan) and little red collars for the dogs! The venue is a small but smart hotel on the outskirts of town and, as yet, they haven’t got around to booking a honeymoon. Jared (and William) want Disneyland whilst Jensen would like to laze around on a hot beach all day and watch the others swim. At this rate though, they will be spending their wedding night in Jensen’s bedroom because nothing has been done.

Misha comes on the Wednesday. He looks tired but happy.

“The money has come through and I have my fee.” He grins. “The papers are all signed, sealed and delivered to the judge.” He hands an envelope to Jared. “And this – this my friend – is yours.”

Jared turns the envelope over and over in his hands; it is white and long and it has his name on the front. His throat is dry and, for some reason, his eyes sting. He looks across at Misha for some sort of clue but Misha shakes his head.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know how much Jared. Why don’t you just open it?”

Jared hands the envelope to Jensen wordlessly; his hands are shaking hard and Jensen puts his fingers on Jared’s wrist to still the tremors. He takes the envelope and opens it, the ripping sound harsh in the silent room. Jensen stares down at the check, heart in his mouth, he stares at the amount of zero's there and he holds it tight in his fingers and shows it, briefly, to Misha.

“Is this right?” He asks, finally and his voice is like sandpaper. Beside him, Jared is frowning, lower lip trembling, almost afraid of the envelope and its contents.

“I guess it must be; the hospital awarded Jared’s parents substantial damages and this is just a small part of it.”

“Good God.” Jensen hands the check over to Jared and watches as the young man folds it up as if it were nothing, giving it back to Jensen.

“I want to go to Disneyland,” he says, flatly. “So does William, shall we . . . shall we book something?”

Jensen swallows; nods. There is a tight pain in his chest and he wants to hold Jared, make things better. This should be a wonderful moment but neither of them knows what to do or say. Jared is a very rich man but he has had to suffer so much to get this far and Jensen – Jensen doesn’t want to see him suffer anymore.

****

Jared has a bank account that his momma opened for him when he was a baby; he hadn’t used it much but he had been putting his wages in it every week. Now he goes to the bank on his own like the man he is and deposits the check. The teller smiles at him big and wide and shakes her head.

“This is a lot of money sir,” she says, gently. “Do you need some financial advice.”

Jared shakes his head. “No,” he says, honestly, “everything is fine.”

After the bank he goes to the travel agents; he gets advice and books a big hotel in Disneyland with food and everything. He then books another week at Clearwater where there are big yellow beaches and blue sea. He books really nice seats on the plane and the agent smiles at him all the time assuring him that he has made the right choice.

Six months ago he couldn’t even tie his own shoes and go out on his own; he didn’t know how to speak to people and he was like a child lost and afraid. He knows that he will never be like Jensen, that he will never be that grown up, that people would always treat him as if he is lacking in something but, today, he feels like a real person. He feels good about himself and for the first time since Jensen handed him the check, he feels happy.

****

The day of their wedding is bright and clear. A big white car takes Jared to the hotel. He is wearing a deep blue suit with a red rose in his button hole. His shirt is crisp and white and his tie matches his suit. Next to him Megan wears a red dress with a bouquet of white roses. She grins at him and grips his hand.

“You look so handsome,” she whispers. “Momma would be proud of you.”

Jared is so nervous when he arrives at the hotel; Sadie and Harley are waiting for him in the lobby. Both are wearing red collars that match Megan’s dress and Sadie has the rings in a little bag attached to hers. Jared fusses them both with shaking hands.

He hears the music and the big white doors open and he enters the room his heart thundering. He can see Jensen’s momma and she is crying. Misha winks at him and William waves and jumps up and down. At the end of the long walk is his brother Jeff and next to him is Jensen, so handsome in his black suit, his back straight and proud. Jared swallows hard and then – then he sees someone he never thought he would ever see again.

He sees his daddy.

Panic makes him falter and he can see both fear and anger in Megan’s eyes. His own eyes sting and he begins to shake with more than nerves.

From his position at the end of the room Jensen hears – rather than sees – Jared’s hesitation and he turns to find himself face to face with Gerald Padalecki.

“What the hell?” Jensen moves before he is even aware of doing it, hands clenched into tight fists. “Listen to me . . . .”

“No – please.” Gerald looks different, humble almost, his eyes pleading. “Nothing I can do will make up for what I have done to Jared,” he begins, haltingly. “But – but I wanted – he said I could come – and here I am. I want to atone Jensen – I need to atone.”

Jensen stares at the once smug man and shakes his head, unable to think of a word to say. He is aware of the music starting again and Jared walking towards him, dimples showing as he smiles. Megan looks at her dad as if she can’t really believe her eyes and Gerald gets to his feet and hugs her before turning to Jared and holding out his arms. Jared hesitates for only a minute and then he hugs his daddy too. The tears on his face are tears of joy and he doesn’t know or remember a time in his life when he felt happier than he does right now.

He looks at Jensen and Jensen is crying too but Jensen is laughing through his tears and he holds out his hand for Jared to take. Jared steps out of his daddy’s warm embrace and grabs Jensen’s fingers with his own, his heart soaring.

“Are you ready?” Jensen asks and Jared nods so hard his head hurts.

“Yes,” he answers with a huffing sob. “I’m ready.”

And he is – he truly is.


	23. Chapter 23

There isn’t a dry eye in the house as they recite their vows.

Jensen grabs Jared’s hands as soon as he reaches him and Jared turns so that they are facing each other, holding on tight and firm.

Sadie brings the rings with a wag of her tail and a little yip. Jensen swallows down his own tears and tries to remain stoic but one look at Jared’s bright eyes and wide grin sends him over the edge and soon there are waterworks galore, handkerchiefs being about and a huge round of applause when they are told that they are now married and they can kiss. Jared doesn’t hesitate and takes Jensen’s chin in his huge grip, turning Jensen’s mouth towards him so that he can press his own lips against Jensen’s, the pair of them wrapped in a warm and passionate embrace, a promise of what is to come, both tonight and forever.

****

The reception is small and intimate; Jensen goes around and shakes hands with everyone whilst Jared and William seem happy to sample the food. Gerald Padalecki stands at the back of the room and Jensen wanders over. The other man looks nothing more than humble as they shake hands and Jensen nods, swallowing yet more tears as Jared’s dad pulls him into a hug.

“You are good for my son,” he says, softly. “The future is bright for him now and I can’t thank you enough.”

Jensen nods; there are no words for what he is feeling right now and he can only smile and shake Gerald’s hand again, wondering how he got to be so lucky.

They are staying overnight in the hotel and some of the guests are too. Jensen’s mom is only too glad to look after William – who is beside himself with excitement at the prospect of seeing Mickey Mouse. Jensen has booked the honeymoon suite and he feels himself flush red as he collects the key from the receptionist. Jared stands behind him and Jensen can feel the heat coming off his body, feel the burning glances that Jared is shooting him. He realizes that he is nervous and his hands shake as he takes the big gold key and puts it in his pocket.

The room is huge and so is the bed; king size with a deep red coverlet and soft pillows. There are roses in a vase on the table and a bottle of champagne cooling in the ice box. Jensen watches as Jared bounces on the bed and he grins.

“I’m gonna shower.”

“Okay.” Jared grins back and Jensen strips off his suit, marveling at the massive bathroom and the perfectly heated shower. He washes off the sweat of the day and breathes in the scent of coconut and lime. He is more relaxed now and he realizes that he really did it, that he married someone he loved more than life itself and that he had the rest of his days to prove just how much Jared meant to him.

He opened the door and the breath caught in his throat; Jared was standing by the bed, a huge grin on his face and nothing else. Jensen’s mouth was dry as he stared across at Jared’s body, his heart beating hard and fast with wonder.

Even now he realized that he had been thinking of Jared as an innocent boy but here, here in this bedroom, Jared was every inch of a man. He had broad shoulders, taut abs, a flat stomach and muscular thighs. His hipbones were slim and cut; his skin tanned and healthy. Between his legs his cock hung full and erect, leaking at the tip already, his huge hands on his hips, spread out over sharp bones.

“I’m ready Jensen,” his voice was deep and smooth, eyes bright and eager. “I’ve wanted this for so long and I’m ready.”

“Oh God, Jared.” Jensen let the white fluffy towel drop from around his waist and he tackled Jared, sending them both flying onto the bed with a massive, ‘oof’. Jared laughed delightedly and captured Jensen’s mouth in his own, sharp teeth biting into Jensen’s tender lower lip, fingers digging into the base of his spine.

“I want you,” Jared hissed and he sounded as grown up and as confident as Jensen had ever known him, hands everywhere, showing Jensen just how much he did want him. “Please Jensen, I want you so bad.”

Jensen broke the kiss and began to kiss his way down Jared’s body. He laved his nipples one by one and then licked a line between his belly button and his happy trail. He nipped at Jared’s thigh and then sucked at his balls, slowly moving his mouth around until he was licking at Jared’s erection, tasting salt and something that was intrinsically Jared.

He broke off for a moment to watch Jared writhe and buck on the bed; he reached into his jeans pocket at the side of the bed and got out a tube of lube which he clicked open and used generously on his fingers. It had been a few years since he had been a virgin but he felt like one now as he bent down to suck Jared back into his mouth, his fingers stroking behind Jared’s balls as he inserted a finger, gently, into Jared’s hole, moving it tentatively, feeling Jared shudder beneath him.

He went slowly; rejoicing when he felt Jared push into his mouth and back onto his finger. He added another and then another, scissoring them back and forth, loosening Jared until the younger man was almost speechless with pleasure, leaking slowly into Jensen’s mouth, tears seeping from his eyelids and down his reddened cheeks.

“Jen,” Jared gasped out. “Jen, please. I – please.”

Jensen understood Jared’s almost wordless pleas. He rolled the younger man over onto his stomach and lifted his hips, holding him tight, wanting only to please him and not to hurt him. He was so hard himself, so hard that it hurt to breath, the ache in his cock spreading to his stomach and thighs. He lined himself up and entered Jared as slowly as he could, feeling Jared clench around him, hearing his hitching breaths, feeling him tense, shaking, his whole body trembling beneath Jensen’s.

He reached around and grabbed Jared’s cock and pulled it once, twice and that was all it took. Jared groaned and came wetly all over Jensen. The very sensation of Jared coming around him sent Jensen over the edge and he let go, crying out as he orgasmed, the sensations seemingly endless.

They collapsed on the bed and Jensen rolled onto his back and pulled Jared into his arms, holding him close, feeling tears wet on his chest, hearing Jared’s hitched sobs, his hands clutching at Jensen’s waist.

“I haven’t hurt you, have I?” Jensen asked, his voice hoarse and Jared shook his head.

“No, I just never thought – never thought I could have that – never thought I could be loved like that. That anyone would love me the way you do.”

“God Jared, I adore you.” Jensen held him closer still, sucking a bruise into the tender flesh of his neck. “Jared – how could anyone not love you – you are perfect.”

He heard Jared sigh and felt his smile; Jared snuggled closer still and wriggled about until he was comfortable, the pair of them wet and sweaty, sticky with come and already slipping into sleep.

“Can we do that again?” Was the last thing he heard Jared say and he grinned, falling down into contented darkness, his hands in Jared’s soft hair.

“Yes,” he breathed. “Again and again and again, for the rest of our lives Jared, for the rest of our lives.”


	24. Chapter 24

Jared almost bursts with excitement when he sees Mickey Mouse waiting for them at the gates of the Magic Kingdom.

It is like something out of a dream and he runs up to the character and throws his arms around the startled mouse and grins as Jensen takes a picture. Jensen looks fantastic in a tight black t-shirt and shorts and he doesn’t seem to be able to stop smiling. Jared smiles back and swings William into his arms, all three of them laughing in the Florida sunshine.

There are so many rides that it is hard to choose where to go first. William just runs from kingdom to kingdom and Jensen lets him, lets Jared run with him, realism that this right here is his life now and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

At night, when William is settled in his own room, adjoining theirs and close enough for them to be there if he needs them, they snuggle down together in bed and make love. It is hot and tender, slow and wonderful and Jensen can’t get enough of Jared’s body, can’t get enough of Jared’s mouth on his, Jared giggling softly as they try out new things, Jared’s hands everywhere; unstoppable.

Jared has never felt so happy; never felt so complete. He is part of a family now, his own family. He can go out, Jensen trusts him to order in food, to take William to Busch Gardens while Jensen lies in the sunshine, rub sun cream on Jensen’s back and face when he burns. Jared knows he won’t be ‘cured’ overnight, but already he feels better, already he feels like a man.

And the loving, the nice things are awesome and Jared has to wear baggy jeans or shorts sometimes because his body just reacts to Jensen’s! Jared has never felt like this before, never wanted anyone the way he wants Jensen, needs Jensen and he can’t resist touching Jensen all the time, can’t resist putting his hand on the back of Jensen’s neck or running his fingers through Jensen’s spiky hair. Jensen doesn’t seem to mind, just laughs at him and moves nearer, holds his hand in public and doesn’t care about the funny looks some people give them.

****

Clearwater is hot; Jared loves the sea and spends nearly all day splashing in the waves. He teaches William to swim a few strokes and they roll about in the sand whilst Jensen watches them fondly, eyes shadowed beneath huge sunglasses that Jared brought him on the first day. They eat fries and burgers and so much pie that Jared thinks he might explode. It is like living in a magic world where no one can hurt them and none of them want to go home.

****

They arrive home brown, healthy and with arms full of presents. Jensen laughs as William tries to balance all of his stuffed animals on his bed and Harley has a great time savaging an almost life sized model of Mickey Mouse. The dogs are pleased to see them and go mad until Jared puts them on their leads and takes them out. Jensen watches him as he gets on his coat and wraps a scarf around his neck, feeling the cold now they are back from Florida. Jared catches him watching and smiles, his eyes so bright that Jensen thinks he might drown in their depths. He wonders when he fell so stupidly in love and he prays – to whoever is listening – that they will always be so happy.

****

Jared is so nervous he is twitching; it is his first day of college and he feels butterflies in his stomach, hundreds of them fluttering around until he can’t even eat his breakfast.

He never went to school; his daddy kept him at home and taught him basic things like how to write his name and his own phone number. It was only when his daddy kept going away that he was allowed to spread his wings just a little but he still didn’t go to school and he wonders if it is going to be too much, if college will be okay for him or if he will just mess it up.

William is ready; jacket on, shoes tied, all vibrating impatience. Jared fumbles around in the fridge pretending to look for his lunchbox and when he feels Jensen’s hand warm and gentle on his back he almost jumps ten foot into the air.

“Hey,” Jensen’s voice is soft. “Relax.”

He hands Jared the Donald Duck lunchbox they bought in Disneyland and Jared’s cheeks flush, mouth dry.

“I don’t want then to think I’m a baby,” he whispers and Jensen shakes his head, laughing and holds up his own matching Daisy Duck lunchbox.

“If you are then so am I!” He replies and Jared feels so warm inside he almost explodes with it.

****

College is awesome, better than he could have expected. Most of his course is practical and he learns about animals and how to care for them and he watches films about how their bodies work and how to treat minor problems. His English and Maths courses are harder and he gets a bad pain in his head sometimes as he tries to understand what is being said to him. At night he practices his reading by sitting on William’s bed and telling him fairy tales out of his book. Sometimes, he looks up and sees Jensen looking at him with such heat in his eyes that it burns him and afterwards they have to go to bed and do breath-taking things, Jared clinging to Jensen as he comes and comes, unable to even walk he is so sated.

Jensen works long hours and Jared picks William up from school every day. He can make simple meals now and William seems to like them. Afterwards they take the dogs for long walks in the park and sometimes go and pick Jensen up from work and go for ice cream.

Jared’s family come over to dinner and – for the first time ever – he is able to talk properly to his daddy. His daddy smiles more now and listens to what Jared has to say, listens as if he is really interested, listens to Jared talk about the little animals he looks after sometimes, watches Harley’s latest tricks and tells Jensen about his business. Megan is going to have a baby and she looks so happy that Jared has to hug her, his big hands on her stomach, wishing the baby could be here right now.

When his daddy leaves he hugs Jared and says – again – how sorry he is. Jared feels hot all over, a lump in his throat but he hugs back and murmurs that it doesn’t matter anymore, that he forgave his daddy a long time ago, that he is so happy now and that – one day – he will graduate from college and make Jensen and his daddy so proud of him.

****

Three weeks before Christmas Misha comes to see them; he looks serious for a moment and Jared’s heart plummets wondering if he has done something wrong, if the judge has – somehow – changed his mind and Jared is going to be taken away from Jensen, from his husband, from his family.

“There is this boy,” Misha begins and Jared realizes that it isn’t about him and feels so much relief he almost falls down. Misha looks at him with an odd expression and he feels Jensen’s hand on his spine, knowing that Jensen understands; that Jensen knows why he is so distressed. “He is just turned seventeen and in the same situation as Jared was. He needs – um – he needs to get away from his parents as they are – they are smothering him – they are not letting him do what he can do.” He shrugs. “If the judge were to look at him favorably – he needs – he needs legal guardians who can understand him, understand his situation and I wondered . . . .”

Jensen looks at Jared with startled green eyes and Jared smiles back sheepishly. There isn’t really an issue – not really – and he knows that Jensen can read it in his eyes, knows that Jensen will understand.

Misha must see it too because he grins wide and shakes Jared’s hand hard, his grip warm.

“Thanks,” he says.

*****

Jared never knew there were as many children who had gone through the same as him. There are steady stream of youngsters who come through their house and Jared – for once in his life – is the carer. He can talk to them and they talk to him, they look up to him and they ask him so many questions. He feels like a real man now, someone who can help people and he misses them when they move on, either back to their families or to proper foster homes. They always seem happier when they leave and Jared takes every address down carefully promising faithfully to write and determined to keep that promise.

****

When Jensen mentions they need a bigger house Jared agrees; William is getting bigger every day and he doesn’t seem to mind when they suggest moving. Jared hasn’t touched the check he deposited – not really – and when he checks the balance he is mildly surprised by the amount in there. There is enough to buy a bigger house and more, and he shows Jensen his plans which appear to include a big garden and a few more kennels and Jensen shakes his head with a wry smile; adoption drive is coming up again and he knows what Jared has in mind.

On their second wedding anniversary they move into their new house and take Sadie, Harley and their new dogs – a small Jack Russell called Milo and a scruffy mongrel who looks skinny and needy and is called, simply, Mutt. Jensen sees that there are enough rooms for them to carry on being a half-way house for kids like Jared and he sees that there is enough space for more dogs if Jared has a mind. In the summer, Jared should graduate and Jensen feels a sting of pride whenever he thinks of it.

They don’t have any real plans to celebrate but Jensen’s mom babysits and they have the house to themselves. Jensen finds Jared lying naked on the bed and he knows that this – right here – is his gift and it is the only one he wants and needs and he throws off his own clothes and snuggles in next to Jared ready to celebrate two of the happiest years of his life.

“Happy anniversary!” He laughs as Jared pulls him down.

“And many more,” Jared says as he zooms in for a kiss. “And many more.”


	25. Chapter 25

Two weeks after William starts at the ‘big’ school, Jared graduates from college.

Jensen sits with the rest of the families; most of the students who graduate are only twenty-two and Jared is by far the oldest and the tallest but it doesn’t matter, not to Jared and certainly not to Jensen. Jared looks fine in his gown and mortar, his long hair brushed back from his glowing face, his eyes searching the crowds until they find Jensen, hazel orbs lighting up like fire as they see him, a big grin, all teeth and dimples and a tiny wave with long, elegant fingers.

Jared takes the certificate and holds on to it, glowing. Jensen stands and applauds madly until the palms of his hands hurt. Flash bulbs pop and Jensen beams when he spots Megan, Gerald and Jeffrey in the throng. Today is a wonderful day he figures and he wonders if he will ever be so happy again.

Afterwards the college has laid on sandwiches and drinks for the families. Jared runs over to Jensen, mortar gone and gown flying behind him. He hugs Jensen with a huge, ‘oof’ and holds on so tight that Jensen has to extricate himself before breathing becomes a problem. Jared is twitching, shaking with excitement and Jensen holds him until he calms down, kisses him hard and passionate, not caring about who sees them and not caring about what anyone thinks.

****

“So.” Gerald sits with the two of them at one of the white clothed tables and opens a bottle of wine. Jensen accepts a glass but Jared goes with his usual soda. “What are your plans now, son?”

“I want to work with animals; dogs if I can.” Jared lays the certificate down as if it were something precious. “I don’t really know, daddy. I-I never thought I would even graduate.”

Gerald’s cheeks are red and his eyes are sad; Jensen knows that Jared forgave his dad a long time ago and he has forgiven him too.

“Hey.” Jensen pats Gerald’s arm. “This isn’t the time for regrets, Jared has made us both proud. This is a time to celebrate.”

“Of course.” Gerald pats Jensen’s arm fondly and Jensen feels a rush of warmth. “I am so proud of you Jared, your momma would have been so happy. I only wish she were here to see this.”

“Me too.” Jared’s eyes are downcast for a moment. “I miss her.”

“Yeah.” Gerald shakes his head sadly. “I miss her too, son. I miss her too.”

****

Jensen is working long shifts and it is late when he gets home. He tenses when he sees Misha’s car in the drive and shakes himself, telling himself that he has to realise that Misha does not automatically mean bad news.

The four dogs go mad and after a ten minute petting session Jensen finally gets into the lounge. William is eating burgers in front of the TV and he waves a nonchalant hand as he sees his dad. William was sweet at five but a handful at eight and definitely too cool for outward shows of affection.

Jared is curled up next to him in deep conversation with Misha. Both of them stop whispering when Jensen walks in and Jared’s cheeks flush guiltily. Misha nods a hello and nibbles at his own burger and the mess in the kitchen tells Jensen that Jared cooked.

“Hey.” Jensen decides it is question time and he sees how sheepish Misha looks. “What’s going on?”

“Misha knows this little girl,” Jared begins, speaking fast and furiously. “She – she is like me but her parents are – um – her parents had an accident.” There is a brief flash of sadness that he tries to hide. “And she hasn’t any family at all. They have tried to get her a foster home but she is – um – Misha said that she is – er . . . .”

“Difficult,” Misha finishes off the sentence and Jared flushes a deeper red, running a hand through his hair so that it looks messy and sticks up in cowlicks around his face. “She has a lot of issues, Jensen; her parents are gone, you know.” He fumbles with his tie as if to distract himself. “And – and she needs a good home, someone with experience.”

“This wouldn’t be short term, would it?” Jensen is no man’s fool but he is a soft touch for puppy eyes and messy hair and he can’t resist reaching out and grasping Jared’s wrist and sitting at his feet, sighing as big hands rub across his scalp, nails catching on his hair.

“She is six years old, Jensen and she needs a permanent home. Her parents didn’t leave a will and she doesn’t have another soul in the world that cares. She was born with water on the brain and she only just survived. She doesn’t talk and she needs help with most basic tasks but the doctors are hopeful and – and we know the benefits of regular testing don’t we?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen searches for a good excuse. He works but he knows – deep down that he doesn’t really have to. Since Jared’s dad gave them the money it had gained so much interest that they could live off that for years to come. William is older now and Jared – well Jared is more than capable of caring for another human being, for a child. He gazes at the big house, at the chaos that is his life, the four dogs, the messy kitchen and he smiles. “I guess we could give her a trial.”

“Could we?” Jared’s fingers scratch at his hair and he feels so hot, so in love that it is stupid. He is gonna say yes because he needs to, because he wants to, because it will make Jared happy and that – that is his life right there – making Jared happy.

“Yeah.” He shakes his head ruefully wondering what they have let themselves in for. “I guess we could.”

****

Daisy comes to them clutching a tiny red suitcase and wearing a threadbare coat. Her face is thin and white and her chestnut hair curls wild around her bowed shoulders. Jensen doesn’t know what he expected but it certainly wasn’t this tiny, silent creature who looks terrified and confused, her big blue eyes staring up at them both wet with unshed tears.

Jared instantly takes Daisy under his wing; he shows her the room they have decorated for her, shows her the big bed with its pink coverlet, the huge brown bear that Jared had insisted on buying, the big TV he had bought for her and the small Disney DVD collection which Jensen was sure would grow.

The little girl holds Jared’s hand tight and hard, she eyes the dogs with some trepidation but doesn’t seem to be scared. William watches her from behind Jensen’s legs peering out curiously.

“Is she gonna be okay, dad?” He asks, finally, as he watches Jared settle Daisy into her room. “She looks awful thin.”

Jensen looks at his husband; his partner, sees the determination on that much loved face, sees the kindness, the gentleness, the soft way he is handling Daisy, the confident way he is talking to her because he understands her.

“Yes,” he says and he knuckles William’s head with his hand causing the boy to giggle. “I think she is going to be fine!”

****

That night he takes Jared into his arms and kisses him all over; he loves the way Jared lights up, virtually shaking with pleasure, his hands gripping Jensen’s shoulders, his mouth on Jensen’s kissing him wild and passionate. He prepares Jared slowly until the younger man is begging, pleading and Jensen grins giving in, thrusting hard into Jared’s welcoming body, the pair of them writhing with delight, Jared coming hard, gasping his name and telling him over and over how much he loves him.

In the aftermath Jensen asks Jared about Daisy, asks why he wanted her so much.

“You were married to Danneel and you had William.” Jared strokes his chest, fingers gentle on his skin. “You were never gonna have anymore kids and me . . . I-I never thought I would even be able to leave the house let alone have a partner, have someone to love and care for. Daisy – Daisy is the closest thing to us having a child together.” He flushes as if he has said too much. “I know it is gonna be hard, Jensen but she needs us and – and she is so lost.”

Jensen swallows hard remembering meeting Jared for the first time, remembering how innocent and childlike he was, how confused. He remembered how Jared related to William, how Jared was more like his son than he was a grown man.

Now he looks at Jared and realizes how much he has changed, how much he has grown. Jared is a home owner, a college graduate, a husband and father and the things he has achieved take Jensen’s breath away, make him warm, contented, and so fucking proud he could cry.

“She’ll be okay with us baby,” he whispered finally. “She will be okay.”

“I want her to have what I couldn’t have,” Jared says. “I want her to go to school, to have her own friends. I know it is going to be difficult but she can have those things, can’t she?”

“Yes.” And Jensen truly believes it. “Yes, Jared she can.”

****

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Daisy’s first word is, ’Jared’. Jensen listens to Jared talk excitedly about it for days, possibly weeks. Jared rings up his family and Misha and he tells everyone they meet whilst walking the dogs. Jensen loves that this innocent, open part of Jared still exists, loves that Jared hasn’t changed so much that he has lost the things that made Jensen fall in love with him. He watches people respond to Jared, watches them laugh and talk with him. He knows that Jared may look big and threatening but he is really gentle and still a little child-like and Jensen knows that he is Jared’s forever and that there is no changing that.

****

By Christmas Daisy can also say, Jensen, William, Sadie and Harley. She can dress herself now and eats like a horse. She laughs a lot and watches cartoons with William when she should be in bed. She understands who Santa is and watches Jared painstakingly write out a list for her to send to him. Jensen almost weeps when Daisy signs her name at the bottom and Jared confesses that he has been teaching her. He looks guilty but proud and Jensen just hugs him knowing that Daisy is going in the right direction.

****

They cuddle by the fire; the kids are in bed and the dogs are settled. Stockings hang by the fireplace and sacks lie empty under the tree. Jensen knows they ought to move soon but he is too drowsy, too content, cuddled in Jared’s arms watching Christmas TV.

“Are you happy?” Jared asks, finally, snuggling impossibly closer, his fingers rubbing up and down Jensen’s arm.

“Yeah.” There was so much he could say but he can’t even begin to describe just how happy he is. “Are you?”

“When I was little. . . ," Jared’s voice is soft. “My momma used to read me this story about a statue of a Prince. I can remember my momma told me that I was her little Prince and that one day – one day I would be happy in my kingdom. I didn’t believe her then but now – now I-I know she was right. I am so happy, Jensen. Such a happy Prince!”

Jensen’s throat hurts too much for him to answer but his kisses speak for themselves. Together they have climbed up so many mountains but they always made it up and over to the other side and he feels like Jared right now, a prince in his own little kingdom, a kingdom of their own making, a kingdom where they are both the happiest princes alive.

End


End file.
